February 11, 2008
January 28, 2008
Just before my house finding trip out here, my Ma picked up a Garmin c330 Street Pilot. That thing was sweet! I wasn't stuck driving 'til it looks right (which is more exhausting than you can know), and we got here with no problems. Finding gas stations, restaurants or hotels was a breeze.
My Ma has been traveling up to Madison quite a bit, and I told her that this would be a great way to learn the area. She agreed. And, of course, I was right. She thought it such a great idea, that she bought me one so that I could learn my way around here. And it's come in handy.
When I got the thing, I just followed the quick start up, and got it running. I never really explored the thing until I was downloading updates for it, and I saw "voice update." So I did a quick check, and sure enough, there was a selection of languages, both vocal and text. I noticed one that said, "British English." I chose that, and I've been driving around with the damn thing on, everywhere I go.
To the bank, 2 miles away. To the store, just around the corner. Even to work. I can't hope to get lost going to these places, but I take it anyway. I hear and obey...
My GPS sounds like Liz Hurley!
I tried the German voice, and while it sounded really sexy, I was afraid that I might make a wrong turn and piss her off...
September 13, 2007
As is obvious, the great plan to catch up is working with fail.
I'm still settling in, though I've got the main rooms taken care of... kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom all look good. Really, that's about all you need, right? This office is going to suck... it's where I've got all of the extra shit. Even paring it down, I've got too damn much. Gotta get it done soon, though, 'cause some friends from Winchester are going to be coming through in a couple of weeks. It'll be good to see them... haven't seen them in many moons.
I'm thinking that some help would be good. As a matter of fact, some help is greatly desired...
April 29, 2007
Damn. I thought that once I got home, I'd have more time. It hasn't seemed to be working out that way.
Oh, yeah... I've had a couple of trips to Fritz's that I could have put off, but that doesn't really count for that much, timewise. Well... with an exception or two. But that's something else, entirely.
No, I'm falling further and further behind in blog reading and emails. I've finally gotten around to fixing a couple of busted links on my side bar, as well as adding a couple... I know there's more that I should be adding (I've had a few new visitors, and found that I was on their blog rolls... I'd like to reciprocate.) If you see I don't have you linked, and you've linked me, let me know. I'll try to fix that in the coming week.
I've got to stop getting distracted by all of the little things and devote some time to catching up, but that's easier said than done. Fer instance, yesterday would have been a great day to catch up... if I hadn't run out to meet Richmond, Raging Mom, Tammi, and Harvey at Hooters.
Yeah. You're right if you're thinking that usually Contagion is the one who hits that fine establishment with me. But since I've been in Florida, he'll have nothing to do with me. He made up some bullshit excuse about a re-enactment.
Anyway, it was a very good time, though I did get to see how selfish these folks can be... Tammi and Richmond knocked Richmond's youngest down and stole her carmel cheesecake, and Harvey just kept talking on and on and on about hitting it big with his I am Huff Po piece. Hardly anyone else was able to get a word in edgewise. Not that Raging Mom was trying... she just sat there giving me this big smirk. She knows that I owe her big for a certain picture that made it's way up on the wall at Fritz's.
One thing brought up was Harvey's latest portrait in his side bar. No offense to Chris Muir, but the old, blockhead looking pic was much more true to life than Chris' flattering masterpiece. Chris must be a saint, taking that much time to try and make Harvey look almost normal.
We feasted mightily upon buffalo shrimp, buffalo chicken strips, and curly fries, washing it down with pitchers of Amber Bock. And when it was all done, and Harvey and I had seen how violently Richmond and Tammi had assaulted the young girl... over a cheese cake, for cryin' out loud... we ordered our own. Alas... no beatings were given. They were too damn drunk to move by then...
'Twas great hanging with them. All of them. (Even if vengeance is on the way for two of them.) And I'm looking forward to the next get together.
* Note to news agencies and bloggers: some of these events may not have actually happened. At least not in the way described. That is all.
March 28, 2007
In between dreams of going back into the Marines, last night, I kept dreaming of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Not that she's not dreamworthy, but I couldn't figure out why. And it's not like they were "those" kind of dreams... I just kept seeing her all over the place. No matter where I was, she was there...
This morning, I see a comment from Grau (to the post below), and it all clicked:
"Pound an oak stake through their hearts and if they die it means they were a vampire.Duh.... BUFFY!!! The Vampire Slayer.
It's so obvious that the jury will have to agree...."
Silly Sarah... you can't play tennis in high heels... but I definitely appreciate the effort.
Now that I've got that figured out, I've got to work on figuring out why Lindsay Lohan keeps showing up with a Radio Flyer loaded down with a keg of Guinness, and carrying a pipe wrench...
March 05, 2007
Don't return their calls, or emails. Don't communicate regularly. If you don't let them know that they really do matter, they'll go find someone else.
Luck to ya, Liz.
There's more fish in the sea.
February 08, 2007
Before I heard heard her speak, or watched her show... before the octogenarian bond... she was hot. Since she's dead, that's about all I'll say.
Other than "it's a pity."
February 07, 2007
Can't we all just get along?
I was merely trying to help, but I'm thinking that I pissed off someone. Sure, they responded to my suggestions with "smileys" and "LOL's," but deep down, they were plotting. Cruelty on the way.
Yesterday, I get an email that says, "Whoever did this is VERY good..." Included in the message were photos that had been "slightly altered." There were a bunch of them, all nasty, but this one shook me up the worst:
No, not that pic... the bastardization of it. You can see that by clicking on the real pic.
VERY good? Yeah... whoever did this owes me some new shoes. Vomit stains...
December 19, 2006
Hey, Mr. Chubinski,
Just thought I'd ask for one thing more. Just one.
Would you please be so kind as to leave this for me?
And I'm not referring to the suit...
December 07, 2006
Could be that Santa was trying to hook me up... that'd be cool. But just 'cause she's single doesn't mean that she'll wise up and come after me... I'm needing some help there, Fat Man. Maybe she just doesn't know how serious I am... have her give me a call. I can't call her anymore.
No, she's not praying to me... though that is what it looks like, isn't it?
November 24, 2006
Wonder No More
Just got done watching a hokey frickin' movie... Path of Destruction. Stupid. Dumb. Stupid and dumb. Funny, though it's not meant to be that way. Only thing of interest in the show was Danica McKellar. She could stand to eat a little more, but Winnie's definitely grown up and turned out to be a looker.
November 12, 2006
My Celebrity Match
I was astounded, as I usually am. Believe it or not, Jennifer Aniston and I are only a 57% match, and Salma Hayek and I are only slightly better, at 60%. WTF??? Something is not right. Elizabeth Hurley is an 83%. Okay... that will work. But you know who they said would be my match? I'll give you the top three, at 93%.
Eva Longoria, Kajol, and Tara Reid. There are others rated at 93%, including Tina Turner, Suzanne Vega, and Mackenzie Phillips... as a matter of fact, if I did not put an age limit, Phillips was the number one match. I don't even have a clue who the hell she is! Anyway, the search was done for 10 years younger, and 5 years older. And these are who I got.
Outer Animal: Rabbit
Inner Animal: Rabbit
Beautiful, no doubt, but a little too skinny for me. Just a little. She do have some pretty nice curves for a skinny chick, though.
Then we've got Kajol. Who??? I seriously hadn't a clue as to who she was, other than I thought that maybe she was for Bollywood... and I was right about that. But the cool thing is, her born name is Mukherjee. If that doesn't sound familiar, well, I don't blame you, but the name has appeared on this blog before... earlier this year. Only that was Rani Mukherjee... her cousin. Pretty damn good looking family...
Anyway, she's classified thusly:
Outer Animal: Rabbit
Inner Animal: Goat
Outer Animal: Rabbit
Inner Animal: Pig
Heheheh... I'm not sure if they are saying that the Tara in this pic is the one for me, or if they're trying to tell me that the Tara in this picture is who I should be hooked up with.
Can't help but laugh about the inner animal crap. That's supposed to be who you really are, as opposed to your outer animal, which is the person you want others to see. Says Tara's a Pig... that's a little rough, ain't it?
I still can't believe Jen and I ain't 100%...
And this is the crap just needs to be blogged when you cain't sleep...
October 27, 2006
He was concerned about Jen not being able to find love... must mean I'm failing, or something. Well, as I'm reading the Jen headline, my eyes focus on the main story. Tara Reid Exclusive "My Plastit Surgery Nightmare." Okay, I know it's not PlasTIT, but doesn't it look like it, the way colors line up? I guess that sounds better than Franken Nipple, or Franken Boobie, as she's been known. I won't go into that story, as she's gotten that repaired.
I don't know why she felt she had to do that in the first place. I thought they looked just fine.
And, of course, since I mentioned Miss Aniston, I've got to toss in a pic of her, too.
October 05, 2006
is this a bad ass bike, or what???
I was wondering how it would be... which Ghost Rider host would it be, and who would play him. Nicholas Cage plays Johnny Blaze, the original Ghost Rider. It should be interesting to see how he does.
Besides, it's got Eva Mendes in it to save it if the story gets weak.
Not Salma, but still....
September 23, 2006
I just got done watching Category 7. Good Gott. Do not watch this film, unless you have consumed plenty of beer, and removed any sharp objects from near your wrists. It is four hours of your life that will be totally wasted, unless you, yourself, are wasted enough to enjoy it.
Gina Gershon stars as the newly appointed head of FEMA, but even that doesn't help the flick. Nothing can help it, unless you watch it with the intent to fisk the whole damn thing. We had fun laughing at it.
However, we did learn what to do when the big storms do hit... shut off the power. It works miracles, folks.
Jeebus. Maybe looking at Gina might help...
Nope. Still doesn't improve the memories of that flick.
August 13, 2006
I don't watch much, TV, a fact that I've stated before. But since I've been down here in Florida, during the little bit of free time we get, my aunt likes to watch television. When she's busy elsewhere, I like to flip the station back to Discovery, The Learning Channel, History Channel, or National Geographic. If there's nothing on them that piques my interest, there's always cartoons, though today's 'toons suck.
One of my favorite shows to catch is MythBusters, on Discovery. It's exactly as it sounds... the hosts of the show, Adam Savage and Jamie Hynemen, set about "seperating truth from urban legend." Very cool show: informative, fun, and... oh, I nearly forgot one of the cast members, Kari Byron.
Definitely not the only reason that I watch the show, it sure helps to keep your interest when things are slow!
*Pic from FHM photo shoot.
August 06, 2006
This morning offers proof that I only need to work on six of those points...
August 05, 2006
When I was growning up, we weren't supposed to watch TV... we were Pentecostal. So my ma finally goes out and gets a VCR and a "monitor," and a bunch of old movies. Can't be anything wrong with old movies, now, can there? We watched tons of Danny Kaye, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Gene Kelly, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, Cary Grant, and Jimmy Stewart, just to name a few. I still love those movies. Evil sex symbol that she was, we even watched Marilyn Monroe.
I didn't really care for her that much. Oh sure, she could sing, dance, and make ya laugh, but she irritated me in some ways. I used to mock her. Even though I would admit that she was pretty damn good looking, I just didn't see the appeal. That is, until we had a garbage sale, and my aunt had a book on Marilyn that she put up for sale.
Mostly a picture book (it even had some nekkid pictures!!!), it had some biographical info. After reading that... which was after looking at the nekkid pics... I kinda changed my mind. Or maybe it was the pics... I can't remember.
Marilyn was discovered while she was working in a factory inspecting parachutes, and spraying fire retardant on airplane parts. She began modeling and appeared on numerous magazine covers, which attracted the attention of a talent scout in 1946. She had some minor roles in a couple of films, and then went back to modeling while she tried to improve her list of contacts in Hollywood.
It was around this time (1952) that she played Cary Grant's receptionist in Monkey Business, one of my favorite Grant movies. While I liked Grant and Ginger Rogers' parts (especially once they started acting younger and younger), and Monroe's character did not have a big part, she seemed to help carry the movie. She had some pretty funny lines, and delivered them well.
While she starred in some serious films, notably Niagara, and proved that she could actually act, and do "serious" well, she was in more comedy type movies. And that's what I remember her for.
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, How to Marry a Millionaire, The Seven Year Itch, and one of my favorite movies of all, Some Like It Hot. The pic on the left shows Monroe as Sugar Kane, and over her shoulder, you see Jack Lemmon, and Tony Curtis. (Sorry, Eric... I couldn't find a pic of her climbing through the porthole in Gentlemen...) She looks pretty damn good, no?
Unfortunately for Marilyn, and perhaps the rest of us, she died in 1962, at the age of 36. As a matter of fact, she died forty-four years ago today, an apparent overdose. Suicide? Murder? Doesn't really matter now... her physical heart stopped beating. Look around, though, and you can see impact she made. That heart beats on.
I suppose you're wondering why I posted all this. Well, I am, too. See, though I no longer mock Marilyn, she still doesn't do a whole lot for me. Yeah... she was a looker, and she had some great curves, but I've never needed a drool bucket for her. Although, there are a couple of scenes where...
Anyways, the whole purpose of this post was to tell you that, while not a Marilyn fan, I was gifted with a portrait of her, some time back. It was passed along to me by a good friend, and it meant alot to me. At least, while I had it.
When I was home in July, it became clear that the picture was no longer with me. It may have decided that it was time to move on, or perhaps it didn't like hanging out in a blast furnace house. Either way, it is no longer in my possession.
I know that I can get another copy, but that's not the point. What mattered was that picture alone... it's not like any other. I can't really explain it, but should you ever run across it, you'll know immediately.
That pic had class. Whoever ends up with that is a lucky bastard...
July 29, 2006
I got stuck watching America's Funniest Home Videos last night. I won't say that I hated it, because I did laugh out loud a couple of times, but it seems to be the same as the last time I watched it... gott knows how many years ago. Brutal shots to the 'nads, cute babies, old people with their clothes falling off... still the same as when BOB SAGET!!! was on the show.
Now it's Tom Bergeron. Just not funny. I don't think it's his fault, but the writers. BOB SAGET!!!, do his lines suck! His best lines are improv...
I was watching for a bit when it hit me... the show was missing something. DAISY!!! She wasn't on there! Well, hell... she hasn't been on there since 2000. Heheheh... I told you it was a while.
The show was never spectacular, even in the BOB SAGET!!! era, but it sure was nice to
look at watch when Daisy was on the show.
July 27, 2006
Hah!!! It's not just me, no matter what you say. Oh sure, I may have a bit of a crush on her. I'll give you that.
But even science is saying that Jennifer Aniston tops the "perfect legs" list.
Science, people. It's gotta be true.
June 25, 2006
Last night, my cousin had me over for a movie night. Got over there to discover that they had Chinese food, and pizza, ready to be devoured and washed down with ice cold beeah. Hey, it may be rough, but I figured I could help out by getting rid of some of that stuff for them. After chow, we sat down to watch a couple movies, one of which came highly recommended. Hah.
Here's a tip... do not ever watch "Syriana." Seriously. That has got to be one of the worst movies ever. And I'm not saying that because of the leftist lean of the movie. Hell... I don't care about that. The story itself sucked dog balls. The scenes jumped back and forth at an insane pace, and it took almost the whole movie to tie everything completely together. It was a waste of time, talent, and energy. The fact that Amanda Peet was in the movie didn't even help... and that's bad.
Supposedly, there is a message to the movie, but about all I could get out of it is that our government plays Gott with the Middle Eastern nations, even to the extent of taking out innocent leaders. And because of our interference, good people are driven to turn to terrorism. They aren't bad folks, they just have nowhere else to go.
If you got something else out of it, cool. I won't be watching it again to try and interpet anything else.
After shaking off that crap, we salvaged the evening watching Kate Beckinsale in Underworld: Evolution." Ah... now there was a story I could follow! Not to mention that Beckinsale's character looked pretty good:
Especially, from behind.... yeeeoowwww!!!
Tonight, I'll be going back over there... we're going to watch a documentary about The Flora-Bama, a roadhouse that used to sit on the Florida-Alabama state line. Sounds pretty interesting.
This may be my last post until I get home on July 4th, but I'll do my best to keep up with everyone. Keep stopping by... I'm sure there will be some new content in the meantime, thanks to the baby sitters: Eric, Harvey, RSM, and Zonker.
Okay, while I didn't censor the rude comments, I did edit the picture. Poor Jen...
Next thing you know, my slanderous commentors will be victimizing Salma Hayek.
Click to enlarge
Oh, BTW, if you don't know what the fuss is about, here's the original pic. Heheheh... no wonder why it wasn't a popular pic!
May 07, 2006
Is This My Mommy?
The other day, I posted pic of my father, and Raging Mom recognized him... she identified him as Richie Brockelman, a television detective. She may have helped me out by ID'ing him, but in my searches to find out more info, another question was posed.
I found only two images of him, and only one was a picture. My "mother" was a great woman, and not ugly, but she looked nothing like the woman seen in the pic below. I've got to wonder, "Is this actually my mom?" AND, "Is it wrong to think she's hot?"
April 27, 2006
What started out as "harmless" fun, turns out to be an expose. I fear that I may further lose a friend (he already doesn't want to hang out with me after the "tick post") over this...
It was a while ago, but I ran across the My Heritage Face Analyzer Doo-hickey thing over at Agent Bedhead's. I had no pictures loaded into my computer at the time, so I didn't check it out... forgetting that there were already a couple of me out there on the intraweb. Later, I saw it again at Oddybobo's, and I knew I had to check it out. I looked through my archives, and located a picture, then I used the picture of the rabid Joe attacking his dad, to see who came up as matches. I also used my father's shot, since it's been said that I look just like him. The results were interesting...
I also checked out another angle, found in this post. A few names came up quite often, so I'll just give you them, though, I had some very strong matches from that bungies shot. Almost all were above 70% matches.
Here's the names that seemed to be common:
Off of the bungie pic, I had Johnny Depp, at 74%, Pier Paolo Pasolini, at 72%, Beckham, Roberto Rosselini at 71% (Ingrid Bergman... lucky bastard), and, Gott help me, Macauley Calkin at 71%. This pic gave me the best results. Among the others were many, many Europeans, mostly German (imagine that... I'm over 3/4 German!), and some very weak matches.
There were also some female matches that had me wishing I lived in West Virginia. Milla Jovovich, at 74%, Kylie Minogue, at 72%, and Liv Tyler, at 71%. There was also one I'd never heard of before, but DAMN she do be hot! Her name is Rani Mukherjee, a Bengali actress. Mmmmmm... Bengali....
I guess one positive thing from this is that when I finally let Jennifer Aniston catch me, it won't be like making out with kin...
I know, by now you're wondering, "How the hell is this endangering a friendship?" Or, "Where the hell is this expose?!?" Okay, okay... I'm there already.
In the midst of this "research," a name kept coming up, and though it sounded familiar, I couldn't place it. Bashar al-Assad... Bashar al-Assad... I decided to check this guy out. Hell, I checked everyone out, but it was killing me not to know who this dude was. Turns out, he's the President of Syria. Yeah... a bad guy. I did an image search on him, and what I saw made my blood run cold. You see, you could very well have met this guy. At any rate, you DO know him...
I'm a little worried about this weekend...
April 21, 2006
I was checking out the newswires, and I ran across a link to a photo gallery, titled "Notable Deaths Of 2005." The very first pic was of a stripper, Candy Barr. Hmmm.... I thinks to myself. She musta been one hell of a looker. The name do sound familiar...
Not bad, but it turns out that the reason she was number one was because she was the last one of the year. Heheheh... me and my imagination.
April 10, 2006
Where Am I?
Okay, see if you can guess where I am...
Nope, not under the desk. I'm home, safe and sound for a couple of days. Got alot of running to get done today, and tons of work to do in the next couple of days. Might still be limited on my posting.
March 31, 2006
Huh, I've always liked From Dusk 'Til Dawn, for many moons now. Kinda hokey story, but that's alright... I just enjoy it for some reason. I was talking to AWTM earlier, and she seems convinced that I like it because Salma Hayek is in it.
Oh, really... I had forgotten.
March 28, 2006
Watched "Elektra" last night... don't really know how good it is, if at all. I do know I needed a drool bucket...
I don't know if it was the way she flicked those tridents around, or if it was the thought of her kicking my ass, but Jennifer Garner was looking pretty hot... even with those lips looking like they were going to pop right off of her face. I kept going from being turned on(hey, not that turned on), to laughing out loud, whenever they showed a side profile. In the end, "hot" won... It could have been the gallons of beer, come to think of it...
Hot she may have looked for most of the show, but still... that side profile made her look like a Simpson's character. I don't know if she's done it or not, but collagen is not her friend. Just sayin'...
February 10, 2006
Phin is running late with his weekly Gratuitous Mélissa Theuriau Posting. Phishy, my man, you are like a drug dealer passing out samples, and then leaving us jonesing. You could be making a killing, and yet, you choose just to torment us. You, my phinned friend, are a bastard.
*Updated* They say the whiny addict gets the crack. Phin delivers...
As for what she would see in you, I'm not sure. I think she'd have to be smokin' something.
February 08, 2006
Who Needs Acid...
when drinking plenty of this can bring about a strange trip. Okay, a dream or two.
I had a few tumblers of this fine bourbon last eve, and I'm going to give credit to it for my strange dream. I had been watching LA Confidential earlier, so I'm fairly positive that the idea for the dream started with that...
I'm pretty sure that I was supposed to be the Russell Crowe character, a little too quick to strong arm info from criminals. Quite literal, this strong arming was... my partner, a Sleestack, kept ripping the arms off of our potential informants, and trying to beat info out of them...
I don't remember my partner's name, if I even knew it at all... he just hissed alot, and laughed when he tore the arms off of his victims. A very peculiar looking guy this was... not normal at all. Sleestacks have no hair, but he did. He had a bunch of curly hair sticking out from under his fedora. When I asked him about it, he laughed, lifted his hat, and tugged on his hair to prove it was no rug. Another observation: Sleestacks don't smile... I assume that's because they've got huge horse teeth, as displayed everytime my partner laughed. It was a very hearty laugh, too... I don't know why they hiss so much.
Anyway, we ran all over the city, ripping off arms, and getting a few laughs. Never did much out of our informants other than screams and whimpers, but that didn't stop our efforts to get to the bottom of the case. Someone had been beating people to death and ripping off their arms, and we were going to get to the bottom of this at all costs...
The dream was brought to a sudden end when I pulled the pickup up to an intersection, just in time to see Boudicca, Tammi, and Maura Tierney go rocketing past in hospital beds... they were racing. Maura was in the lead, with a boombox jamming punk tunes on the bed with her, followed by Bou, with Tammi following yelling about how it was unfair, she was too tall and there was too much wind resistance, and blah, blah,blah...
I think Maura won it, but I don't know for sure... I woke up laughing.
Don't even start with trying to figure out what the hell it meant... it was just entertaining as hell.
February 05, 2006
I've mentioned before, I don't really pay much attention to tennis, but I do try to catch Wimbledon and the French Open... especially the women's matches. Seems that the women's game is more strategy and finesse, rather than the power of the men's game. And I've gotta admit, some of those women are pretty damn hot.
Anyway, I've watched enough that I know quite a few of the players. Not all of them, but many of the up and comers. I've been watching since around '90. Mmmmmm.... Steffi Graf..... er... distracted again.
I remember when Martina Hingis first appeared on the scene. She never really impressed me looks-wise, but she could definitely play tennis... some powerful tennis. She won 3 straight Australian Opens between '97 and '99, with titles at the US Open and Wimbledon in '97. She was a dominant player, holding the world no. 1 ranking for 209 weeks total.
However, she started suffering injuries and never seemed to play with as much dominance as she did early in her career. She retired in '03, with a failed attempt at a return in '05.
I recently heard that she was attempting another comeback, but I hadn't paid any real attention to her. Then I heard that she made it to the quarterfinals at this year's Australian Open. Next, I heard that she defeated mmmmmmmmMaria Sharapova, a hottie and no. 1 seed, at the Pan Pacific Open in Tokyo. Hmmm... says I. I decided to look into this.
Holy. Mother. Of. Gott!!! She's hot!!! Hingis, that is.
Don't really know what the point of this was, other than to point out that Hingis is no pudgy kid, but a damn hot woman. Heheh... and I'm risking sounding like an old pervert.
Hey... gotta run. The Super Bowl is about to start. Can't miss the cheerleaders....
February 03, 2006
Mélissa Theuriau Update
While I do think he's been eating bad kelp, I do gotsta say he's got great taste in womens.
And who knows, maybe she's decided that I may be a might too much for her. I mean, a picture says a thousand words, right?