January 31, 2008


Here's a tip that is actually useful... rather than the other "tips" I post.

Do you keep your paycheck stubs, as you should? You may want to check something out. And if you don't save your stubs, for Gott's sake, do it!!!

Paychecks in our company are administered through ADP, so they are nice and tidy, no confusion. You've got earnings, and deductions, giving you your net pay. I check mine each week to make sure they're correct. However, I don't usually check the YTD amounts... something that is changing.

I had started to fill out my 1040 today, when I realized, I haven't gotten my W-2, yet. I got someone else's, but not mine. That's not a problem. However, once I got started, I wanted to figure out roughly what I would get back, so I grabbed my last pay stub of '07.

Looking at the YTD amount, I knew something was wrong. I added up all of the YTD earnings for Regular, Overtime, Bonus, Double Time, and Holiday, and discovered a minor error. 10g's, in error. And HIGH...

Sooo... that means that had I not noticed this, and if the amount is the same on my W-2 (which I'm sure it is), I would end up paying in nearly 2 grand for taxes... when I should be getting that much back... as they only took taxes out for what the earnings actually are.

I guess I could have saved you the time that it took to read all of that, to say this:
Save your check stubs, and check your last check of the year against your W-2's. Do some math, and possibly, save some cash.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 09:42 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

January 28, 2008


Just before my house finding trip out here, my Ma picked up a Garmin c330 Street Pilot. That thing was sweet! I wasn't stuck driving 'til it looks right (which is more exhausting than you can know), and we got here with no problems. Finding gas stations, restaurants or hotels was a breeze.

My Ma has been traveling up to Madison quite a bit, and I told her that this would be a great way to learn the area. She agreed. And, of course, I was right. She thought it such a great idea, that she bought me one so that I could learn my way around here. And it's come in handy.

When I got the thing, I just followed the quick start up, and got it running. I never really explored the thing until I was downloading updates for it, and I saw "voice update." So I did a quick check, and sure enough, there was a selection of languages, both vocal and text. I noticed one that said, "British English." I chose that, and I've been driving around with the damn thing on, everywhere I go.

To the bank, 2 miles away. To the store, just around the corner. Even to work. I can't hope to get lost going to these places, but I take it anyway. I hear and obey...

My GPS sounds like Liz Hurley!

Liz Hurley

I tried the German voice, and while it sounded really sexy, I was afraid that I might make a wrong turn and piss her off...

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I'm liking this new job. The people are cool, the company is successful, and the owner and management take care of you. They're real folks, and they really do care. But they've got a different way of getting things done...

I've jokingly referred to it as "building a house to fit a door." They are trying to incorporate new ideas, and add new products, but their order in setting things up has been... strange, to say the least. It works out, but, as the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants says, "Yaaarrrrr... It's driving me nuts." Though I meant the "house" comment figuratively, today it became quite literal.

We got in a shiny new ladder on Friday, of the type that is usually attached to walkways, platforms and catwalks. Today, I was asked to check out the ladder, and then take a look at the machine where it was to be mounted. I was talking with a maintenance man, and it soon became apparent that there is nothing to attach it to. Not that we would have to install brackets and mounts that were on the way... I mean, we were asked to design a catwalk and platforms to go with the ladder.

What the fuck, over???

Maintenance guy looks at me and asks, "What do you think?" And before I could stop myself, I told him that it was the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Luckily, he laughed and agreed.

I've heard of building to suit, but this is frickin' nuts...

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January 27, 2008

103, Feverish

My last remaining blog faddah, Harvey, has torn himself away from his other blog long enough to tag me with another stupid meme... one that claims you have no life if you've seen 85 of these movies.

I've seen it before, and ignored it, but being the outstanding blogson that I am, I decided that I'd do it for the old bastard.

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life.

Mark the ones you've seen. Copy this list, check the movies you've seen, add them up, and include the number in your post title.

(x)Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Grease
(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
Total so far: 12

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 17

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 23

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 30

(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 39

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
( ) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 45

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks!
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 51

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
( ) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
() Shrek 3
Total so far: 63

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Kippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
(x) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 68

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 74

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so far: 76

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 81

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 85

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 90

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 95

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total: Breakfast cereal
or 103

None shall be tagged, but if you want to kill some time, you can feel free to lift it.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 12:34 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack


Tammi, who is directionally challenged... severely, was gifted with a Garmin. While she's ecstatic, she's also a bit concerned that she'll run a bit low on blog fodder, now. I don't think she needs to worry...

Hopefully, she doesn't blindly follow its directions...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 10:22 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 26, 2008


It's a beautiful day here in central California. Local warming has brought the temps into the mid sixties, and there's a nice breeze blowing. 'Tis a good day to get out and about, or if not, at least have the windows open. I've done both.

Other folks have had the same thoughts as myself... all day long I've been hearing the pleasant roar of motorcycles going by, most of them heading down Herndon Avenue, a mile away. And while I was running errands, I got to see a couple of large groups

Head east on any east/west street in this town, and you'll see some decent shots of the mountains. Currently, their peaks are covered in snow, and there is a dusting of snow down into the foothills. From what I've heard, the snow doesn't usually come down this far. I'm appreciating the fact that it has.

As I said, east/west streets have some great views, but my favorites are Gates and Herndon. One of these days, I'll remember to take my camera with me to get a shot or two for you folks... maybe even roll some video, Eric-style. You'll be envious.

Envious... that kinda brings me back to the whole point of this post.

So I'm listening to these bikes, and I can't help but feel a little covetous. After all, my bike is back in 'sconsin. And it will be awhile afore it makes its way out here. (Not to mention, the whole deal with those bastards at the DMV. Nyah, nyah, to them... I've still got my Illinois license, which is good 'til July.) Damn, I miss that thing...

It's been on weighing on my mind lately. I've seriously thought of selling the beauty and using the money to help buy a house. But the more I think on it, the less I feel I can do it. I feel... actual pain.

That bike has been with me for damn nigh onto 12 years. I got it in July of '96 (a couple of pics below the fold), and have put about 52k on it, and most of that was in the first 8 years. These last few, I've not had a chance to ride it much.

That bike has been out to Sturgis a few times, and has been on some incredible rides. Heheheh... you may remember one of them down to Tennessee. It's been ridden through Wisconsin winters, and Midwestern deluges, Illinois hailstorms and western deserts. I remember parking it so that I could check in to a hotel, and looking out to see it rolling backwards, blown by the gusting winds that had forced me to stop for the day. I've never hit the thousand mile day, but it's been close many times.

When it comes down to it, I don't think that it's possible for me to get rid of that bike. I think I'd be getting rid of a piece of me. And, while I can't say that I remember the first time, any time I've lost part of me, it's not felt good. I'm not about to embrace masochism.

Ride on, those of you who are lucky enough to be out there. I'll be joining you in a couple of months.

Until then, I'll be insanely jealous...

'96 Fatboy
Here she is right after I bought her.
'new sheet metal
Here she is, just ten months later. She's sporting new sheet metal (including 6 gallon tank), and a stage III engine mod. I took it to Kutter's ride in bike show, and took second place.

I don't have any recent pics (maybe Eric might), but she's still sporting the same paint. I've taken some of the happy away... the rims and lower forks have been powder coated black. She looks mean, now...

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January 25, 2008

My Way

There are many ways to skin a cat. The important thing to remember is that you end up with a worthless pelt and a dead cat, no matter how it's done.

I could stand to remember that.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 07:04 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

January 24, 2008


Reviews like the one for this Absinthe bring a smile to my face...

And a bit of daring, to my heart. Now, to get it here... (not to mention, have someone pay for it.)

Posted by That 1 Guy at 07:32 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

January 23, 2008

Super Power

Stolen from Richmond, my super power:

Bet you didn't see that coming! Gott, I crack myself up...

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January 21, 2008

A Review

It's been awhile since I've posted a review on beer or an alcoholic nectar. Well, I've got a couple of minutes, so I thought I'd hook you up. A beer drinker's wine review.

Tonight's beverage of choice is Blackstone Pinot Noir, and it comes in a bottle that seems to empty rather quickly. 'Course, most folks don't drink wine by the pint glass.

I'll skip the stupid aroma and taste shit, and just tell you this: This is good shit, Maynard.

Buy it, or die...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 08:11 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

January 20, 2008


One of things that I hate about a shared laundry room is having to empty the lint traps of the dryers. Not that I hate emptying them after I use them, but before I use them. Especially when you find what looks like a small pet residing there. As I did this morning.

Seriously, not every week, but almost every other week, I find a trap packed with hair. It skeeves me out. I try to imagine that whoever used it just washed a dog blanket (from a severely shedding poodle), and didn't throw in the towel that they used while dethatching nether regions.

I may have an over active imagination, though. Seems that there's a perfectly good explanation for the woolen remains... actual clothing made from hair.

I feel a lot better now...

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January 19, 2008

Bad Ass

Saw the new Marine commercial over at Matt's... it's cool as hell.

If that doesn't pump you up, you are dead inside...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 08:51 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

January 17, 2008


For LeeAnn, who just happens to be having a birthday... Happy 21st, LeeAnn!!!

Stop by and wish her a great one!

Posted by That 1 Guy at 07:21 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Lahdle Oddle Oddle

Someone doesn't like me, putting me in the same category as terrorists, Hillary, and the NY Slimes. I guess that's what happens when you're as nice of a guy as yours truly. (That would be me that I'm referring to...)

I merely shared a friendly little ditty, and I become the equivalent of a serial killer.

Just no pleasing some folks...

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January 16, 2008

From the mist...

new floor

The floor for the new building was poured yesterday morning. I took this pic while my machine was warming up. I'd been watching the ghosts materialize and then fade back into the fog while they finished the surface.

One of the coolest things about the fog is also one of it's most dangerous. All of the crap, and the ugly, is hidden by its veil.

But that same veil hides the car that's gonna run you down...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 09:41 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 14, 2008


I'm thinking I might be getting myself into some trouble. Friday is Ma's birthday, so I'm sending her some flowers, and mailing her a card. The card is lame, but will definitely make her roll her eyes, and the card that will come with the flowers will read: "Hey, Ma! Hope you have the merriest of Birthdays! Try not to get too tanked!!! Love, Joe"

Ma doesn't drink...

I was gifted with a loaf of banana bread, today. Pretty nice, eh? No. I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings, as he was only trying to give me a slice of home, but it's... well, it's terrible. Check that, it's horrendous. I didn't realize that nanner bread could be so bad, but this loaf is proof that things can go terribly wrong in the kitchen. I ate one slice, but I've got to toss the rest out. I'm trying to come up with a nice half truth to tell him when he asks how it was. Gott damn, I hate the thought. He was so damn proud of his ma's baking.

Speaking of ma's and home cooking, you've probably noticed that I haven't mentioned my trip home. Well, I've been trying to write a post, but I'm getting sidetracked. Not to mention, I don't know how to say some of the things I'd like to say. So I'll say this; it was great being there, seeing all of the family that I got to see, and getting to hang out at Fritz's with my old pallies. While most of the trip home was what I hoped for, and needed, not all was good. I don't like hearing my Ma mention "stair lift". That seems to upset me. Ah, 'tis life... but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I just have to deal...

Anyway, I've got shit around here that's gotta get squared away. I'm sure I'll be posting off and on, but I probably won't be dropping by to see too many of ya. Not that I've been doing that well in the past couple of months, anyway, but it's going to be worse. For a couple of weeks, at least.

Peace out.

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January 13, 2008


Get ready, folks... the end of the Earth draws nigh. Do what you gotta do before the end comes.

Our warning came days ago, and it's been written everywhere since. I can't even get to my email accounts without seeing that Hannah Montana got caught using a body double. Oh, the horror!!!

It's a show, folks. Theatrics. Choreography. Crap. Yeah, it's a concert, but it's a performance from Miley Cyrus. Really. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Hannah Montana isn't real.

All this frickin' hoopla... kinda wish I'd have filmed Alice Cooper's show, back in 2005. "He didn't really cut Britney's head off!!! See? It's not really her, and he faked cutting her head off. And that wasn't a real baby that he impaled! FAKE!!! FAKE!!!" The nerve of the guy...

He may have been doing Brit a favor if he had...

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Had some goofy ass dreams last night. Kept waking me up.

The first few, it seemed that theme was that, even though others thought I was doing a fine job (whatever the task was supposed to be), I felt that I was doing miserably... even to the point of failure. As much as I was assured, I couldn't be convinced otherwise.

The last one, The Perfect One and I had gone up into some mountains, and fell into a crevasse. 'Twas a beautiful place, glowing blue, but cold. The walls of the fissure were unscalable, and the more we attempted to climb out, the further we'd slide down. Ended up getting so cold in the dream, that I actually ached enough to wake up.

The weird thing about all of them, is that everybody had thighs like a speed skater...

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January 12, 2008

Dirt-like, Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt: [Facing mirror] She's your sister dude she's gotta be and you made out with her man! What's wrong with you, you pervert!
[turns away from mirror]
Joe Dirt: Well I didn't know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it's not my fault. And she's one of the hottest girls on the planet.
[turns back to mirror]
Joe Dirt: You just said your sister's hot! What a fuhreak! You're going to hell man!
[turns away from mirror]
Joe Dirt: I gotta tell her what happened, why I got weird. And for god sakes' I gotta treat her like a sister.
[next scene, you hear them having sex]
This dialog was the first thing that came to mind when I saw this: Twins Separated at Birth Met and Married.

That'll toss out a few scars...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 01:31 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Know This Guy?

Holy crap!!!

Does this guy look familiar, to you?

Posted by That 1 Guy at 10:35 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack


What a difference an hour can make...

I woke up bright and early, as I usually do on Saturdays, at 4:50. Outside, the morning was cool and clear as I ran across the drive to the laundry. When I ran back a half hour later, to toss the clothes in the dryers, it was still the same.

An hour later, the laundry was barely visible. If it weren't for the light being on, you wouldn't have known that there was another building across the way.

Fog gets thick out here. Very thick. Seems that every year, they have a pileup like the one they had back in November. You'd think that folks would learn, but folks being folks, they don't.

It's know as a Tule fog, and it's known for its limited visibility.

I was asked, almost as soon as I had moved here, if I'd experienced the fog, yet, by someone who had lived in the area a long time ago. It was still too early in the year, but I did some research to see what it was with which I would be dealing.

One of my favorite articles was found on Minnestota Public Radio... it's all the way down at the bottom of the page. (Or should be...) I've posted it below the fold, too.

Anyway, visibility is returning... I can now see a whole block away. 'Tis a perfect day to go back to bed, but I don't know that I can or will... too much to try to accomplish.

From the desk of Tuli-Fog Survivor

Dear Everyone,
During the Holiday Season, I like to think of all the things I'm grateful for. This year it's Christmas Lights, the ones that plaster rural farmhouses, barns and gargantuan front yards up here in the Central Valley of California, a.k.a. "Cal-abama."

This tour de force display o' lights which, according to Ms. Manners treatise on Christmas Light Etiquette circa 1972 shall appear no sooner than the day after Thanksgiving (since your husband is probably home and grateful for the turkey) and stay up until the three wise guys reach Bethlehem on January 6th.

Faithful agri-families in the Valley develop a chronic annual condition known as 'Holiday Short-Term' Memory Loss Syndrome. HSTMLS (pronounced hist-ma-liss) is caused by an optimistic belief in the U.S. economy. HSTMLS affects its victims memory center by blocking out any thoughts of astronomical January utility bills. Christmas Lights burn brightly all night long. However, as we shall soon see, this is a good thing. HSTMLS is also directly responsible for making utility company executives rumba at break-neck speed round the cash registers with glee (ole!) while apparently "tsk-tsking" the overuse of electricity. The third and final stage of HSTMLS is nausea, vomiting and heartburn upon receipt of Visa/MasterCard/Discover December statements. But we're not even going to go there, at least not today.

Let us get back to the Christmas Lights shall we? For those of you who don't know (and being a Minnesotan transplant I had never heard of such a beast) I recently discovered something called "Tuli-Fog" that hovers like astral ecto-plasm, smothering the 99 Highway and associated back roads with a rich layer of fog frosting. Here is what happens when you run into it. Driving alone late at night furiously switching radio stations (desperately seeking MPR) but finding instead Hard Rock in the form of Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and the likes, Mexican Mariachi Music (aka M3) and Christmas carols which plunge a body into pleasant childhood memories of kittens, and stockings and a blazing hearth, a disturbing event occurs. All-of-a-sudden and completely out of nowhere its wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am as you enter the Twilight Zone.

The road disappears, the lone pick-up truck you've been feverishly following for the last 60 miles has been absconded by aliens. Everything is completely shrouded in a pea-soup mist -- a blank canvas of nothingness while the radio plays another Christmas carol.

Reflexes take over as you slam on the brakes and turn off Karen Carpenter as she side-steps into another marshmallow tune. You are hungry - desperate - for sight as you continue crawling towards Oz (which in this version of reality resembles a cozy bed in Atwater where you can snuggle under the covers with your husband) and fall into a dreamless REM sleep. Much better than sugarplum fairies at this point. And here is when 'THE MIRACLE OF THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS' happens. A piercing of the Tuli veil as it were. From the thickening mist multi-colored blobs of light appear. You realize you are driving on someone's front lawn but never mind, you missed hitting Rudolph. Faith restored in your capacity to drive, (after all this is your 3rd Starbucks espresso, they don't have Caribou up here) you relax your death grip on the steering wheel, unslump your shoulders and continue towards that bed.

Happy Holidays and raise a cup of kindness to those wonderful lights.
Sincerely, Tuli-Fog Survivor

Submitted by Laurel Aarsvold of Atwater, CA

Posted by That 1 Guy at 10:02 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 10, 2008


Car looks strange with California plates on it, but that's done. As for my mug on a piece of California plastic, not yet.

Aced the written for the car, but missed four (you're allowed three) on the bike test. One question, I just answered wrong... I misread it. My bad. But the other three... well, I missed them, but I can't remember reading anything about them in the book. And, in order to get the bike license, I've got to take a road test, even though I've got almost twelve years of riding in. That should be fun, without my bike here...

BTW, an appointment is definitely the way to go. I was in and out of there in an hour and a half...

I'm off to be a crab.

T1G, out...

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January 07, 2008

A Question

Ummm... just curious.

Is anybody else overly anal about their written tests... at the DMV?

Posted by That 1 Guy at 09:59 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack


I've been to hell. I spell it...I spell it dmv
Anyone thats been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee-call it pointless
- Primus
I've got an appointment with the DMV for Thursday, so I decided to do a bit of recon. You know, time it out, make sure I know exactly where it is. I also figured to pick up the rule books so I can ace the tests.

Holy crap...

I've been from the country, and smaller towns, all of my life. What I saw today blew me away...

I walked into the office, and found it to be crammed full. No seats available, standing room only. As a matter of fact, there were folks standing outside.

And how many people were crammed inside?

I kid you not... there had to be almost two hundred. Seriously, if that's an exaggeration, it's only slight. What a frickin' cluster!!!

Me, being as good with crowds as I am, I executed a sharp about face and evacuated the premises. Damn near had an anxiety attack.

How the hell does a person keep from freaking out???

Posted by That 1 Guy at 08:43 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

January 06, 2008


Spent the day moving junk around, trying to reorganize things. Yeah... I'm laughing, too.

Anyway, I was just finishing up for the evening, and I poured myself a beer. As I watched the cheering cascade of nitrogen bubbles, my attention was drawn to the logo on the glass... and I had an epiphany of sorts.

See, I've always been a little stronger than average. Not smelling, you assholes. Mooscle-wise. It is a gift; though, with as many times as I've helped to move folks, it can be a curse, too.

I've worked out some, but most of it comes naturally. I want to move something, damnit, it moves.

Looking at the glass, it became clear why...

beer mucscles

Posted by That 1 Guy at 08:41 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Counting... Pennywise?

Posted by That 1 Guy at 07:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 05, 2008


Well, I went and got the car smogged yesterday. I knew it would be something simple, but I wasn't sure what they'd do.

I was kinda thinking that maybe they'd hook a hose up to your exhaust, shove it into your window, and make you sit there for ten minutes. If you lived, your car was clean. If you had to pop open a door, you failed, and would have to repeat the test until you either died, or were deemed emissions friendly. (What exactly are emissions, anyway? Seems to me that they've been around longer than the internet... whoever figured out that there would be a web, and that it would need missionaries, was really on top of their game.)

Anyway, turns out that there was to be none of that fun stuff. Instead, they shove some kind of sensor up the car's ass. The car, quite obviously, doesn't care so much for this, and winds out the rpms. (Actually, it is parked on a dyno, but still, the car doesn't sound happy.) My car passed with flying CO2lors.

The cost of the state's certificate is $8.25... and you get nothing for it! No certificate, suitable for framing. No stickers, anymore. Your info is entered into the computer, and there you go...

Oh... BTW. That low cost? That's on top of the $30-$80 dollars that you are charged for the actual test on the dyno. Ten minutes, tops, for me. My bill was $58.25... and that is actually pretty much the average. (Not too bad, but still... I'd have loved to have gotten a hook up like Barmy Mama did.)

What a great way to rack up the ching!

Posted by That 1 Guy at 01:32 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack


Step into the Wayback machine, to September, 1850, where:

1. California became a state.
2. The state had no electricity.
3. The state had no money.
4. Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
5. There were gunfights in the streets.

The Old California is very much like the new... except that their women had real boobs, and the men didn't hold hands.

Tip of the mug to Jerry... I think.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 12:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 03, 2008


Paperwork... mein gott, I hate doing it. And I've been filling the crap out for the past two weeks that I've been here.

My benefits have finally kicked in, so just before Christmas, I was filling out all of the insurance forms, and researching new doctors and dentists. Given the relief that I feel for finally being covered, I tolerated the inconvenience.

Got all of that done and turned in, and was told that I needed to fill out paperwork that should have be done when I got hired. WTF? I had already filled out two packets, some of the forms being duplicated. I was sure that I would be doing the same crap again. Packet came in today, and it was nothing that I'd seen before. Grrrr... at least it only took me an hour to fill out.

Meantime, I've gotten my car insurance switched to California, and tomorrow I get the car smogged. By end of next week, I should be a legal California resident, with car registered and new driver's license. (Yeah, yeah, yeah... condolences accepted.) Funny... I became a registered voter three weeks ago.

So that was my fun for the evening... aside from sneaking peeks at the blogosphere instead of reading forms. Gotta go in early, so I'm done for the night.

Peace be unto you...

T1G out

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I spy, with my hazel eyes, little Georgie Denbrough, about to die...

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January 02, 2008


Stuck in my head all day was this bass line...

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January 01, 2008

New Year

So, how did you welcome in the New Year?

I got back in to Fresno yesterday. Finished the trip that I'd started the day before. Delays, mechanical failures, and the airlines being kind enough to "accommodate" me by flying me into LAX to catch a different flight here... and not taking into account that the other flight took off while I would be deplaning. Anyway, I'm back. Safe, sound, and sane.

Alright, safe.

'Twas great being able to head home, hang with family and friends, and to renew my war upon my liver. We (my liver and I) are not in negotiations, right now...

2007 made its brief appearance on the road of life, and is now officially roadkill, its mantle fluttering to the tarmac. Tiny little Elisha Oh-eight has boldly stepped out and picked it up... poor, unfortunate bastard. Won't be long, and he will be smucked as well...

As for celebrating Mr. 007's demise, I can only say that I didn't. I couldn't.

I had planned on watching The Shining (one of my favorite movies over the holidays), but I couldn't keep my eyes open. 'Course, that may have had something to do with the large supper I had made for myself. And the beers and bottle of wine that I "disposed" of, while cleaning out the fridge. Or maybe even the travel. Yeah... travel. That's probably it...

I'm pretty sure that the New Year came in with a roar, despite my lack of celebrations. As a matter of fact, I'd slap down some serious money on that, as my own personal snoring awoke me at 12:03...

New year, new goals, new hopes. But no resolutions from me. And, "No," I did not resolve that..

"Happy New Year," to all of you. May your goals be reached, and hopes realized.

Oh, and for those of you with a mile long list of resolutions, and no resolve, here's some (not safe for crumb gobblers' ears) encouragement! Kinda...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 11:28 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack