April 14, 2006

Another Question

I've been out in the woods the past couple of days, walking, and attracting bugs. I keep a constant eye out for one that I particularly dislike... ticks. The little bastards "bug" the hell out me.

They always seem to show up hours after you've been outside, and I don't know how many times I've woke up feeling one of them crawling in my hairline, or on my leg. The little blood suckers creep me out. But they do inspire a question... actually, two.

Where is the strangest place you've discovered a tick? No, not tic.

And, how do you go about removing a tick that's already embedded... in a scrotum?

Posted by That 1 Guy at April 14, 2006 02:05 PM

LOL! Would that be partially embedded or fully? And just exactly what would someone be doing in the woods to get one there? heehee

Posted by: azindiandoll at April 14, 2006 02:27 PM


I'd say burn the sucker... then again it depends on how valuable you find the family jewels. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at April 14, 2006 02:41 PM

Why didn't you ask over here in the first place? if anyone has had to deal with... well... never mind...

Fine-tip tweezers or a smooth set of forceps... grab the tick as close to the skin as you can, looking to get between its body and yours. Lift straight away from your dangly bits... steady pulling pressure, do not rip. It should eventually come away though some species actually excrete a cement to bond it to your skin at the same time their probe digs its way into your body to begin feeding.

Do not squeeze the tick to kill it, that just injects the tick innards into the soft-maracas of love. A "Lesion" there takes a long time to heal. Not good. Do not use nailpolish, alcohol, matches, etc. That can cause the tick to regurgitate or salivate in the wound... which is how the disease gets in your body much more quickly. Besides, unless you have a very good friend you trust implicitly who won't get grossed out at your furry juice-makers... never take fire to the boys. You could twitch and miss, and they will tend to roll away on their own when near temperature extremes.

Posted by: RSM at April 14, 2006 02:59 PM

Um, I had several ideas until you mentioned scrotum. Ouchers!!!

Posted by: Moogie at April 14, 2006 03:36 PM

Okay, I know this works first hand from that location. Baby oil. Seriously, I know it sounds bad, but ticks breath through their "skin", it will back out as it starts to suffucate.

Posted by: Contagion at April 14, 2006 04:02 PM

I was going to say baby oil but it appears Contagion beat me to it. I taught him that trick anyway! Well...maybe not.

Posted by: ktreva at April 14, 2006 04:32 PM

is the scrotal sac...uhhh excessive?

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at April 14, 2006 05:59 PM

mmmm, only one way to remove a tick from a scrotum. LOLOLOLOLOL

No really dude, sorry. Damn.

Posted by: Alabama Improper at April 14, 2006 07:24 PM

Oh wait, that advice I just gave is only for poisous snake bites.

Posted by: Alabama Improper at April 14, 2006 07:26 PM

errr, poisonous

Posted by: Alabama Improper at April 14, 2006 07:27 PM

I'm... speechless. And I'm not sure what rendered me that way, the post or... the comments.


Posted by: Bou at April 14, 2006 09:31 PM

The last time I was in Tulsa, my friend's 6 year old son Brett comes in the room, drops trou, and points down below his scrotum and says, "What's this?" It was a tick. We had him lay down on the couch and I held his legs in the air while Dad pulled the thing out with some tweezers. While Dad had his face down there close, Brett blew a fart right in his Dad's face. It was hilarious.

You should use blunt or dull tweezers because you don't want to slice or crush the tick. How good are you with using tweezers while you're holding a mirror? Good luck, Man!

Posted by: Jerry at April 15, 2006 12:22 AM

Dude, I like you and all
And we're pals

But I'll be damned if I'm holding the mirror or the tweezers for you.

Posted by: BloodSpite at April 15, 2006 06:26 AM

I don't think I want to hang out with you anymore.

Posted by: zonker at April 15, 2006 10:14 AM

I don't know for certain, but somebody once told me that rubbin' a shitload of Ben-Gay 'em would make the tick pull out. If you can't find Ben-Gay, use Icy-Hot... ;)

Posted by: RedNeck at April 15, 2006 04:52 PM

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. Next time you go out in the woods to play "Big Foot", you might want to buy a flea-and-tick collar or two... You know what they say about an ounce of prevention...

Posted by: RedNeck at April 15, 2006 05:19 PM

Redneck's Icy Hot cure might work, but I'd say you're gonna have to shave one side and light the other side on fire. When the tick jumps to the side that ain't afire, stab him with an icepick. I've heard that works. Good luck.

Posted by: Dash at April 15, 2006 08:50 PM

... two words, brother... baseball bat..

Posted by: Eric at April 16, 2006 03:05 PM


I once had a tick on my inner thigh, but it was not embedded. Baby oil works well, and well, if it doesn't you can always use Dash's and Eric's suggestions!

Posted by: oddybobo at April 17, 2006 07:17 AM

... damn, Dash... I LOVE your idea.. T1G could sell tickets...

Posted by: Eric at April 17, 2006 06:06 PM

Dash - that's for crabs :-)

T1G - Leave it in and just tell people it's "body jewelry". Bugs are in this year:


Posted by: Harvey at April 18, 2006 06:19 PM

Blowtorch. Quick, easy, burns it right out...

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at April 26, 2006 09:18 AM

The Dax Montana method is quite reliable.

Sit down on the White Porcelain Throne as though you were taking a crap. In fact, go right ahead and take a crap. Might as well.

Light up a cigarette. Enjoy its tobaccoey goodness until it's about half its original length. Then dispose of it by jamming it into the space between "Mr. Happy" and the front edge of the bowl. You will nail your Nut-Sack squarely with the burning coal.

If you do it just right, you'll also nail the tick. But if you miss, it might take two or three tries...

Posted by: Elisson at May 1, 2006 05:27 AM