April 27, 2006

Unmasked...

What started out as "harmless" fun, turns out to be an expose. I fear that I may further lose a friend (he already doesn't want to hang out with me after the "tick post") over this...

It was a while ago, but I ran across the My Heritage Face Analyzer Doo-hickey thing over at Agent Bedhead's. I had no pictures loaded into my computer at the time, so I didn't check it out... forgetting that there were already a couple of me out there on the intraweb. Later, I saw it again at Oddybobo's, and I knew I had to check it out. I looked through my archives, and located a picture, then I used the picture of the rabid Joe attacking his dad, to see who came up as matches. I also used my father's shot, since it's been said that I look just like him. The results were interesting...

Boxerbriefs.jpg Death From Above.jpg

I also checked out another angle, found in this post. A few names came up quite often, so I'll just give you them, though, I had some very strong matches from that bungies shot. Almost all were above 70% matches.

Here's the names that seemed to be common:

Off of the bungie pic, I had Johnny Depp, at 74%, Pier Paolo Pasolini, at 72%, Beckham, Roberto Rosselini at 71% (Ingrid Bergman... lucky bastard), and, Gott help me, Macauley Calkin at 71%. This pic gave me the best results. Among the others were many, many Europeans, mostly German (imagine that... I'm over 3/4 German!), and some very weak matches.

There were also some female matches that had me wishing I lived in West Virginia. Milla Jovovich, at 74%, Kylie Minogue, at 72%, and Liv Tyler, at 71%. There was also one I'd never heard of before, but DAMN she do be hot! Her name is Rani Mukherjee, a Bengali actress. Mmmmmm... Bengali....

milla.jpg kylie_minogue.jpg

liv_tyler.jpg Ranimukherjee.jpg

I guess one positive thing from this is that when I finally let Jennifer Aniston catch me, it won't be like making out with kin...

I know, by now you're wondering, "How the hell is this endangering a friendship?" Or, "Where the hell is this expose?!?" Okay, okay... I'm there already.

In the midst of this "research," a name kept coming up, and though it sounded familiar, I couldn't place it. Bashar al-Assad... Bashar al-Assad... I decided to check this guy out. Hell, I checked everyone out, but it was killing me not to know who this dude was. Turns out, he's the President of Syria. Yeah... a bad guy. I did an image search on him, and what I saw made my blood run cold. You see, you could very well have met this guy. At any rate, you DO know him...

unmullettedzman.jpg
ZONKER UNMULLETTED!!!

I'm a little worried about this weekend...

Posted by That 1 Guy at April 27, 2006 09:50 AM
Comments

Damn! That guy has stayed at my house before and played with my children, too. Holy shit! Thanks for the heads up.

Posted by: Dash at April 27, 2006 10:10 AM

Holy Shite! I was dying reading the end!

Posted by: Oddybobo at April 27, 2006 10:23 AM

You are SO going to kill me.

Posted by: Raging Mom at April 27, 2006 10:32 AM

Ya know, that guy could be related to Zonker. ;-)

Posted by: agent bedhead at April 27, 2006 11:29 AM

THAT's Mr. Goat?!

; )

Posted by: Christina at April 27, 2006 12:04 PM

The day before I board a plane, you come out with *this* crap?! Dayum. Guess I'm gettin' the cavity search by TSA agent "Big Hand" Bertha.

Posted by: zonker at April 27, 2006 01:26 PM

I came up with Margaret Thatcher, come on people REALLY, that one is going to hurt for fucking days

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at April 27, 2006 03:19 PM