January 31, 2005

Evil Papal Lie (Director's Cut /Alternate Ending)

(Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned... or will.)

Pope John Paul II had some problems with the symbol of peace. From Strange News- AP come these excerpts:

The pontiff was addressing thousands of young people from an Italian Catholic organization who marked January as a month to promote peace.

He was flanked at his studio window by a pair of 8-year-olds — a boy and girl — who urged the world to remember children who live in countries wracked by war...

Each of the children at his side sent a dove flying, but the white birds, perhaps alarmed by Rome's unusual cold spell, almost immediately darted back into his studio.

Laughing, the 84-year-old ailing pontiff seemed determined to set the symbol free. He grabbed one of the doves as an aide returned the birds to the window sill, and he shooed it out the window and playfully patted the boy on the head.

After a quick flight over the square, the bird quickly fluttered inside again as the pope grinned.

Then the Pope caught up the dove and wrung it's neck.

Alternate ending:

He then snatched up the dove, bit off it's head, and screamed (click here).

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Enabling Officers

I may be a bad person... but I couldn't help but chuckle when I read this.

The Philippines have a program in place that will help their law enforcement to take a bite out of crime.

It sounds like a good deal. The story is good. Why the hell am I laughing?

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January 30, 2005

Everyone Else Is Doin' It ...

"If they all jumped off a bridge, would you?"
"Well, if there were a good reason to, yes. Definitely."

Tammi has tagged me with the latest musical meme. So I'm jumping.

Random Ten Albums (I just picked some of those lying around my computer... they've got to be some of my favorites!):

Elmore James: The Sky Is Crying The History of Elmore James
James Gang: Rides Again
Jimi Hendrix: Blues
Machine Head: Burn My Eyes

Primus: Tales From The Punchbowl
Jane's Addiction: Nothing's Shocking
Johnny Cash: The Essential Johnny Cash
Stevie Ray Vaughan: In The Beginning
Clarence Gatemouth Brown: The Original Peacock Recordings
Clutch: The Elephant Riders

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
I didn't really think it was that much, but when I checked, almost 4 gigs. Mostly, I just pop in a CD and jam while fiddling around on the computer.

2. The last CD you bought is:?
Slipknot's Subliminal Verses

3. What is the song you last listened to before this message??
(Classified) by "Man or Astro-Man?"

4. Five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.?

Johnny Cash's Tennessee Flat-Top Box and/or The Ballad of Ira Hayes
Faith No More, The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
SRV, Shake For Me
Slayer, Raining Blood
Hendrix, Manic Depression

I know that none of these songs are really touching or anything, they just bring back good memories. Of course, you could always check out the soundtrack of my life.

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (other persons and why)?
This meme is definitely making the rounds, but I don't think that _Jon, sarahk, Johnny-Oh, Alex, or Anathematized have been tagged yet. I'd just like to see their taste in music.

That is all.

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January 27, 2005

Dedication, Determination, and Dickheadosity

Unmoving. Incredibly balanced. I see him most everyday, and can not help but be impressed. I know not how he reached his position, but that it must have been a hell of a climb.

But offer to buy the guy a drink. Try to tell him how impressed you've been with his dedication over the past years. Express awe. He'll just stare you down.

What an asshole this guy is!

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January 25, 2005

Deadly Animal Hunting

Yep, I'm fully aware that my posting has sucked of late. But I've got an excuse. A good explanation.

There is a ferocious animal running around my house. I've been trying to capture or kill it, but I just can't succeed. I managed to get a picture of the little dude. Two, actually. The second one was the straw that broke the camel's back. My beer was being killed right in front of my eyes! After I snapped the shot, he took off running, and all I can find of his presence, now, is a string of empty beer bottles!

Here's the photographic proof. Ladies and Gents, meet Sebastian the Sauced Squirrel:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
Here he almost looks cute. I figured I could deal with a rodent as long as he left me alone. But this is the shot that earned him his death sentence:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
Thanks to ImageShack forFree Image Hosting

Follow me in my continued quest for the beer killing squirrel. And I promise, posting will pick up. Wait .... do you hear that? I swear I hear disco music. I have you now, you little rat!!!

Yeah, I posted that link before... but some of you may not have caught it before.

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January 21, 2005

To The New Guy

To Baby First Class Brayden:

Welcome, little man, to your new permanent duty station. I'm not sure what they told you when you were issued your orders, but rest assured; this isn't bad duty. Border patrol at the Hell/Humanity border is bad duty.

While this post isn't near the hellhole that some claim it is, there has been a recent increase in the number of seedy characters running about. This is where your officers in charge come in. You've got some of the best.

They will oversee your training, and prepare you for your future dealing with the "bad guys." Ideally, you will not have to have any clashes with them until your training is complete. However, things rarely come out ideally here. When these situations arise, watch and learn, my little friend. Your XO, "Mother" here, will protect you with a ferocity usually only found south of heaven. Don't jack with her. She may be the titled the XO, but I think we all know that she runs the show.

Your CO, "Father," is a good man. He's there to steer you down the right path, and to help provide your chow and utilities. He, as well, is someone you want to keep happy.

Your two training partners, or "brothers," are there strictly to amuse and annoy. It is your job to do the same for them. If you each do a proper job, you will grow up to be a very tight knit bunch, and you should never have to watch your six in times of trouble. You'll be there for each other.

May your tour be a long and pleasant one, BFC. Should you ever need anything, or have a question that your commanding officers can't, or won't answer, feel free to contact me.

Faithfully yours,

Master Drinking Sgt. T1G

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January 20, 2005

Checkin' In

Hey, all. Nope, the rumors about me visiting the jail aren't true. (Although maybe I should give it a try in preparation for the Wreckyll in Jekyll. This isn't a for sure, but a "try like hell" deal.) As for being dead, the jury is still out on that one.

Visited the doc last week, and they made me take a blood test. Got my results yesterday.
Total cholesterol= 140
HDL cholesterol= 60 (yeah, Doc, 60! Eat that!!)
LDL cholesterol= 32 (yeah, ok, bad)
Other mumbo jumbo= Good
Triglycerides = Way too frickin' high. 250+

Doc's message to me= Whatever you're doing, keep it up, with one addition. Cut way back on your alchohol intake. Alchohol will lead to your high triglyceride count. Keep drinks to a 2 beer/day limit. Come back in thirty days for another blood test. Excercise will raise your LDL levels. Recommend you start a regular program.

Okay. Kinda pissed. I. Don't. Drink. Everyday. I just believe in doing it right, if you are going to do it at all. Most weeks, I probably have maybe 8 beers, with the exception of Saturday, Monday, and Friday. Oh, and Thursday. Then the count kinda jumps up. Just a bit.

I was visiting with the daytime bartender, who is an ex-nurse, and I figured out a way to stay within this "two beers a day" bull crap. From here on out, I will order a pitcher or two, and just drink from the pitcher. Problem solved. Dos cervezas. Zwei biers. Or, for those that know Bob Hope movies, "TWO SHORT BEERS!!!"

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January 17, 2005

Meant tp post.b ut can't.

Meant tp post.b ut can't. Quessadila nighht. Emai;s anwsered tomorrow. Figured out where I wen't wrong. No. More. Quesadillas. Just beberages. That os a;;/

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January 13, 2005

Bug's Recipe

VW is hosting this week's Carnival of Recipes. Here's my lame attempt at a contribution. This is an easy recipe. Throw it together the night before, and grill it the next day. Minutes of work.

Joe's Chicken

Grab a package of chicken breasts (however many)

12 oz. Italian Dressing

6-12 oz. Tabasco (depends on how warm you may like it)

Mix dressing and Tabasco. Split between two containers, one large enough to hold both chicken and the warming fluid. Obviously now, put chicken in the smaller bowl. Nah, just kidding. You know where it goes. Cover both containers, and let set over night. Hungry? Grill breasts (the chicken's) using spare container to baste, or whatever it's called. If you want, you can warm the extra fluid, and toss the breasts in as they come off of the grill.

Chow time.

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Advisory meeting was held on Tuesday. One of the concerns was the recent outage of toilet paper. In all bathrooms. Not. one. roll. to be found. This was brought to my attention by quite a few people, the least of them being myself. Paper towels do not leave a feeling of a job well done. Trust me.

I was a little unhappy about the situation, so I went to complain to the supervisor. He said that they were aware of the state of the paper supply. They had been out since the day before!

When I'm mad, I try to make myself laugh. Sometimes it helps. I started coming up with all kinds of ways for the company to save money. Washing used toilet paper, charging to use paper, and some other lame ideas.

I finally told a co-worker that I was going to suggest that we install new fixtures and hand dryers. Voila! No more toilet paper ever needed! A friend of mine walked up then, looked at me, and asked, "Who's this Bud Hayes? And how is he going to help clean our asses?"

I tried to bring up the bidets in the meeting, but I couldn't keep a straight face, and I just busted up laughing! I just kept thinking of Bud Hayes following us all around!

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Bob, Sluggo, and Randy Moss

Hey,look everyone! Randy Moss got fined 10 g's for his "mooning incident." How lame.

Believe me, I'm not here to defend the ass. The little boy is a world class jerk, no denying. His act Sunday was in poor taste, and totally disrespects an opponent. But it was kinda funny. Hell, if you were watching the game, you heard Chris Collinsworth start to laugh about it seconds before Joe Buck started carrying on like someone had just eviscerated a kitten on national television. "Oh, that is just disgusting! I can't believe our cameras caught that!"

If you missed it, Moss caught a pass, ran for the touchdown, and then acted like he mooned the Green Bay fans. Hey, it's Moss. Do you expect anything better? The Sideshow Bob wanna-be flattener of traffic cops is an idiot. But I still say, though tasteless, it was funny. It was a "pre-emptive strike" of sorts. You never hear this stuff, but from NY Daily News, comes this excerpt:

Moss, who caught two touchdown passes despite spraining his right ankle in Sunday's game, said afterward that his end zone celebration "was more of a fun thing and not a hatred thing."

Yesterday, Colts coach Tony Dungy not only agreed but also offered some context.

"It's not the kind of thing you want to see on national TV, but I understand what it was all about," Dungy said. "Anyone who has played in the NFC Central knows what that's about. The fans in Green Bay have a tradition in the parking lot after the game where they moon the visiting team's bus. It's kind of a unique sendoff."

Again, not defending him, but getting to something else.

My co-workers and I were discussing how it was funny watching how everyone was so offended by this "disgusting display" during a football game. We started working out some funny observations.

Does this just apply to actual field time, or should it apply to the whole freaking game? You know, there's a timeout on the field, so you run to grab another beer, only to enter the room in time to hear, "If an erection should last over 4 hours, contact your doctor." WTF?! That's not something I want to hear while watching a game!

Do these people buying air time think that guys are watching the game and, as soon as it cuts to commercial, they're going to say, "Thank God for the break. Hey, Jim, I want to ask you about something."
"Sure, Bill, fire away."
"Well, that's what I'd like to talk to you about. You see, I can't get myself in the condition to 'fire away.'"
"Oh, that's not good. Junior is a little lame, huh? Well, there's this pi.... Wait, here's the commercial now!"
"Praise be!"

Then there's Bob. You know who I'm talking about. The mascot for the "E" pill. Yes, the guy with the creepy look on his face, supposed to be a smile. It's actually an obvious clue that this stuff really works. All extra skin is pulled from different areas of the body to accomodate the increased size of the nether regions, resulting in this grimace. I'm curious to see what happens to this guys face when Sluggo gets happy. I almost picture the top of his head being pulled down around his neck. Don't forget Mrs. Bob, with the look that says, "my organs have been forced to places they just shouldn't be, now that Bob is a 'big boy.'" Oh, BTW, Bob worships Satan. Thanks Grau for the heads up.

Okay, Bob's not so bad, but still, I find these ads more disturbing than anything on the game itself. Perhaps because of the serious tones used. Kinda gives the feel like I described with Bill and Jim. Guys don't do that. Now, if humor were used (as is attempted with Bob), it would be a hell of alot more tolerable. Like L...tra still using Mike Ditka, but having him make some crack, like, "They don't call me IRON Mike for nuthin'." Or V..gra using Bob "The Rod" Dole. Something to take the one-on-one chat feel out of the commercial. I could deal with this. But as it is now, I find commercial breaks more distasteful than anything I've seen during game play.

Maybe it's just me...

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January 11, 2005

Beer Blogging

"Sins of gods run through the head, a second genesis
Some have called it ignorance, others have called it bliss
I've done my time, liberate me
I have done my penance, inebriate me
The truth of it all
The truth of it all
Inebriate me
Inebriate me"

Arcadia, by Clutch

A stop for a beer. Heh. Yeah. I'll answer your emails and comments tomorrow. On the evening. Or so.

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January 10, 2005


I woke up the other day in a rather rude fashion, and first thought to blog about it. But then I started thinking that it was a little too much information, even though funny, and decided against it. That was until I saw this article.

Seems those damn Asian lady bugs are a problem in Texas. Just Texas? No. Every fall, I have walls covered with the cursed things. They go everywhere, and even when you think you're rid of them, you'll find more. Usually in large clumps. The article mentions they smell. Yeah, they stink to holy hell. Smell a little like something decomposing in earth.

One thing that the article didn't mention; the little bastards bite. Believe it or not, it smarts. Early fall, when they show up after the harvest starts, they seem to be the most aggressive. But they will bite almost anytime.

I've spotted a few on my walls, and decided that I would tolerate them. Doesn't take too long and they die anyway. But after the rude awakening I got, I've declared war. I'm going to kill every last one that I find! The nice guy mode has now shut down!

Why? Because Saturday morning I was wakened by a chomp to the nads! I woke up and thought, "what was that?" Only to get a second bite to the satchel. That was it. I flew out of bed and quickly discovered and dispatched the little squirrel wanna-be.
The war is now on, and no Geneva Convention rules apply!

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By Other Means Found

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed some searches that have referred my blog. I wrote a few down because I thought them amusing, and planned on making a post with a list of some of the weird ones. Harvey was thinking the same thing after reading a post at Mike's.

I'm no longer number one on any of these, although I was, at the time it referred me, for plain creepy on Google.
Some of my referrals:
yahoo search, drunken berries
google, evil glenn
google, difference between comma and apostrophe
google, plain creepy
google (dutch), this is a new type of war is an eradication
google, What is on harvey's monster thickburger

I know, not so strange, except for "drunken berries," but with the exception of the "comma" search, all were within the top 10 at the time referred. Comma was 25. But my favorite, is also the strangest. At one point, I was number 2 for the MSN search for .... girls farting badly fetish. It's true! I still don't know how that came about!

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January 09, 2005

B-Day Suggestions

My mother's birthday is coming up next week. It's a special birthday, and all of kids are looking to get her something different from the usual. One gift from the four of us. Our imaginations aren't doing so well, perhaps because we are trying to think practical rather than special. Don't know. But I thought, "Why not see what suggestions I could get from readers of my blog?!"

I'd give some specific interests, but I think that may limit ideas. So if you don't mind dropping a suggestion or two, it would be appreciated!

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BP Meds and Frozen Extremities

I've got hypertension. I've had it since I was a kid. Not a new thing. But since one trip to the doc when my blood pressure was 163/116, I've been prescribed meds. I am horrible about taking them regularly, and I get my assed chewed out by the doc frequently. After my last trip, 2 weeks ago, they want me to come back in to see if they need to up my dosage or change meds. I've been told to make sure I don't miss any medicine in between visits. I've done well.

But while this is the same medicine (Atenolol) I've been taking, it's from a different manufacturer. It has side effects, but really, I never seem to suffer from any of them. One is possibility of the feet and hands becoming cold. As I've said, never had a problem. Until the past couple of days.

I keep my house cool. Some say arctic cool. But the past couple of days have me in agony. My feet and hands are so cold that they hurt! Bad. I've been running around with my hands tucked into my sleeves, and feet in wool socks. This isn't me. I like the cold. But if this nonsense keeps up ....

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January 08, 2005

Available No More

Looks as if I'm going to be moving out to California. Seems that they decided that I really was the guy for her. Brad and Jennifer that is. Glad they came to their senses!

Sorry, ladies, but I'm taken now!

Don't I wish!

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Reading through my blogroll yesterday, I read over at Mostly Cajun's about how his Uncle Pete had his version of walking on water, and knew I was going to have to post a couple of stories. I wasn't the only one. Wasn't long, and I noticed that Dash and Christina had posted stories also. The topic? Encounters with snakes.

As you may be able to tell, I hate snakes. I do not like them with all the "do not likedness" one is allowed to possess. They aren't right. Nothing that lacks legs should be able to move as fast as they do. If I'm aware of their presence, I'm not so spineless. Put some glass between me and a serpent, and I can watch them for hours. Because of the "moving without legs thing." But take away that glass, and any sudden moves could trigger a bowel movement. I'm drifting.

The stories of the swamp reminded me of my own murky water encounter. I had just gotten to my permanent duty station at Lejeune, and we had a nice little hump out into the middle of nowhere. (Somewhere not too far from Combat Town for those that know the area.) We were to stay out for a couple of nights, recon patrols and practicing different things.

One of the corporals told me, as we walked into our camp, to keep an eye out for snakes. And then he told me about a few brushes with snakes by others, and his own personal unintentional rendezvous with a cottonmouth. Right in this very area. Great. I didn't know if he was just jacking me or what, but you warn me about snakes, I'm payin' attention!

Inevitably, I got my shot to go out on patrol. I had watched the previous patrols all taking the high ground as they left. I'm sure they all hit the swamp eventually, but still, I had my hopes. They were crushed immediately as we left camp and dropped down into the marsh.

It wasn't that bad, until we started across some standing water. The water was deep enough to come to the tops of my knees (almost 2ft.), with a couple of spots about 3/4 of the way up my thigh.

We were a little over halfway across, when we got the signal to "Freeze." We slowly squatted down until our asses were just barely out of the water, as we watched an "enemy patrol" working their way along the swamp. 50 yards away, and they never saw us! They were just about out of sight when I felt a tap on my leg. On the inside of my thigh! As I stood there wondering "WTF?!," the tap was followed by a solid bump, bump on the same leg, and one on the other! I slowly turned to verify that there was indeed a goodly interval between me and the Marine following me, then looked down, and saw a swirl in the water! I immediately thought, "Cottonmouth!"

I would like to think that it was discipline and not fear that kept me motionless. I'll probably never truly know. I do know that as soon as the signal was given to move, I somehow was up a skinny little tree. I think I levitated, because I sure as hell don't remember climbing!

I'm not sure to this day if that was a snake in that water, or what. I figure it was Divine payback for something I had done while still in Pendleton.

We were doing a land navigation course as part of our infantry training. As my partner and I finished up, we ran into some Marines that had been in boot camp with us. We're all making our way back along a thin trail, when we were frozen in our tracks by a buzzsaw rattle. We couldn't figure out where it was coming from, or if there was more than one snake in the brush.

The area we were in is thick with rattlesnakes. I swear that they dump all rattlers found in the west onto Juliet area! To top things off, some loon had been catching them and taking their rattles off earlier in the day. We were petrified!

We finally located the bastard under some brush near the trail. Seriously, I would lay money that his head was almost two and a half inches across. This was a big snake! We decided to go elsewhere, when we heard another rattle. Now we had a choice; go through the brush and face who knows how many snakes, or work our way past the big boy. At the time, "leave the area the way we came" never even came to mind.

After much nervous laughter, I decided I would go first. I started walking and when about even with the snake, I "jumped to safety." Nervous reaction. But my partner did the same thing. The other two decided that they were going to go together. (They were cousins from Minnesota.) They counted down, and took off running, then launched themselves into the air. I couldn't resist. I did my impersonation of a rattlesnake at that moment.

I can't say I wouldn't have reacted the same way they did. And I realize that it's not funny. But it was hysterical! The look on their faces was classic as they both tried to stop in midair. One of them almost made a 180o turn by the time he landed. It was a contorted mass of bug eyes, swirling arms, and kicking feet! And yes, I got the crap pounded out of me for that. I couldn't fight back because I was laughing so hard!

After my little encounter in the swamp, I've never messed with anyone when it comes to snakes. I've learned my lesson. Other fears, however, I still have to work on!!!

Posted by That 1 Guy at 10:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 07, 2005

Agitating The Gods of MuNu?

Was I the only one, or were others banned from commenting on MuNu sites last night? Haven't checked to see if it's changed now or not, but I kept getting Forbidden messages everytime I even wanted to view comments. Must make note to sacrifice a llama to gain the Munuvian Gods' favor.

Couple my exile with my ISP screwing up again, not to mention being a little tired from my shift change, and you get something like the post below.

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Angry Idiot

"AwwwffffffffffFUUUUUgggggghhhhnnnnnnnn pencil peckered sons of knock-kneed, crosseyed, motherless goats!!"

You ever done/said something when you are extremely pissed that just makes you stop and wonder, "Where the hell did that come from?" Or, "That doesn't even make sense?!" Next thing you know, you're laughing at your idiocy. Or at least I am. While I know I can be a little different, I know I'm not the only one!

"Sons of motherless goats" comes from the timeless classic "The Three Amigos." Not sure where the rest came from.

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January 06, 2005

A Little Late

Yes, Christmas has passed and lifted all of our wallets. But I have to share something with you that had me rolling earlier today. NSFW

Tammi, who saw it over at Smokin's place, sent me this little clip about how the Christmas spirit is lost. She said it reminded her of my NYE post. So, yes, there's a four letter word or two involved.

If "You're gonna get, coal in your stocking, 'cuz you're yuppie scum," sounds familiar, you've seen it. If you haven't, check it out.

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At The Bar of The Ages

I first saw this over at Eric's, and thought, "That'll be an easy one!" Umm... no. It's not at all.

What the lad is asking, is if you had a chance to go drinking with five historical figures, who would they be? He has his answers, along with some readers' in the comments, Acidman his, Flynny hers, and the one who started it all, Rube.

Like I said, starts out fairly simple. Until you start thinking. Eric has some authors on his list. I too start out having a few. But then, I ended up taking them out. For now. You can easily come up with people that you would like to meet, but trying to whittle it down to five? Na gah da.

So, here's my five. In no particular order.

1. John Colter

2. Daniel Boone

3. Winston Churchill

4. William Kidd

5. Nikola Tesla

Choices were made just because I would like to ask alot of questions. I love history, and these guys could cover alot of ground. But I also had some authors hanging right in there, so I'll give you five authors also. Edgar Allen Poe, Stephen King, Douglas Adams, Louis L'Amour, and Shakespeare. There's alot of Marines too, but I won't keep making lists up. This was a good exercise. Thanks, Eric.

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January 05, 2005

American 'Roo

Saw this article while checking e-mail. A kangaroo in Wisconsin. Believe it or not, it didn't suprise me. A few years ago, I had read a book called The W-Files, by Jay Rath. It's a fun to read book about some of Wisconsin's paranormal and unexplained phenomena. He makes mention about kangaroo sightings in Waukesha and Eau Claire counties. I can't remember (I no longer have the book) if he makes mention of the earliest reported sighting or not. That was in 1899, Richmond, WI (or NEW Richmond... both are listed). You can see this little bite of info here, but you've got to scroll down to the section called Phantom Kangaroos. There is also a list of some other sightings around the country to be found here. I would give you a few more links, but I'm tired of "hopping" around

Posted by That 1 Guy at 02:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Apple Bologna

Now, I know I'm running a fever. Just woke up from a strange dream. Can't remember the whole thing, but the last bit is still there.

I'm sitting in my two room house (yes, room), but from the outside, this house is huge. On three sides anyways. Okay, sitting there, and in walks Dean Martin. This is a younger Dean, but he's wearing some horrible looking forest green leisure suit. He starts jabbering away, but not to me. I turn and look, and there's a priest and a nurse, also in the room. He's saying to the priest, "I'm telling you, you just can't find any good apple bologna anymore! And the liquor these days, Father, I think it's poisoned!" And then he starts bitching about how if you drink too much liquor, now days, it'll give you the shits. And starts to describe exactly how bad you get them. "Never used to happen!!!" I start to ask a question about apple bologna, and find myself outside of the house. On the short side. There I find a dude in a Slipknot mask acting like he's "wrestling the bald headed champ." I take off to chase him down (suddenly I have a bat in my hand), but as I round the corner of the house, I smash into the side of it. I wake up.

Now I'm trying to figure out what apple bologna is. I think that's weird.

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January 04, 2005

An Astounding Fact

While I was laid up, I had plenty of thinking time. So, of course, I came to a few realizations. But I'll place the onus of only of these illuminations upon you at this time. Seriously. This is pretty heavy stuff if. you. think. about. it.

Humans seem to get a better sleep when they are tired.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 11:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Slightly related to the post below.

Am I the only one who upon hearing "Auld Lang Syne," thinks of "redrum", killer shrubbery, the Overlook Hotel, Lloyd the bartender, and Jack Nicholson? As "Jack Torrance?"

Posted by That 1 Guy at 04:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Amusement and Shame on New Year's

I stopped at the pub tonight for a beer and quesadilla. I learned a bit about myself.

Even though I shouldn't have been out New Year's Eve, I was. Got tired of being in bed all week being a sickly man. Yeah, I went back home to bed to rest, but, hey, it was crappy weather, and not many were out. A guy's gotta help take up the slack!

Anyway, I guess I was quite the hit with the bar, although I don't remember that much. I was called a unicorn because my party hat was not on the top of my head, but somewhere in the forehead vicinity. This I do remember.

I was dancing with quite a few of the ladies, even though I'm not a dancer. At all. This I do remember.

The DJ and his wife thought that I was a cartoon, and kept playing music that I liked to keep me on the dance floor. This I do remember.

I started the evening on some strong German beer, switched to some kind of vodka, then to shots of Black Haus, back to beer, and finished up drinking glasses of champagne ... as shots. This I faintly remember.

At closing, I reverted back to Marine lingo, an overabundance of four letter words. I haven't a clue.

Somewhere in the course of leaving the establishment, I switched to pirate speak. Because my hat now covered one eye. Your guess is as good as mine.

Before I went out the door, the DJ wanted to buy me a drink. I smiled and "told him off." Something stupid, along the lines of, "Damn you, you think I'm drunk. Well, I'm drunk enough already Mr. Guy." I guess he just laughed, but tried to offer again. I don't really know, it's what I've been told. Three times.

I'm amused and disappointed in myself. I haven't been drunk enough to forget things in quite awhile. Years. I never act like a jerk to people that I don't know. Kinda funny, but not. But I can't believe I turned down a drink. I'm so ashamed!

Posted by That 1 Guy at 03:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 02, 2005

A Sort of Update

Posting has been off. This I know. Between problems with my ISP, Blogger (I haven't been able to get to my blog at times, so I operate off of others' blogrolls for reading), and being a sickly bastard, I've been terrible at keeping up. Starting new work hours today, so posting is going to be a little off until I figure out a schedule that works. I'll be starting work at about the time I used to go to bed. It's going to be interesting! I'll probably still post early morning, but work everything up the night before. We'll see how it goes!

SITREP: 04:16, current state= very freekin' tired. Got maybe 2 hours of sleep, but I fear it's much less. Ten hour work day: 05:00 - 15:30. Not happy. Not. One. Bit. All I can do now is laugh. Maniacally. Let the fun begin. Literally. Salt truck just went by. Oh, joy, Ren.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 11:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What A Sweet Job

The other day, I was reading different blogs, and found a video posted that just kicks ass. I'm not supposed to link tothis blog, else my soul be damned, so I won't.

The video is of an F-18. Cool stuff. Only thing that would have made it any better would have been a shot showing how the ground looks to the pilot when he's inverted.

Some of you know that I was a Marine, and I was with 2nd LAI (Light Armored Infantry) Battalion at Swamp Lejeune, NC. I was with the mortar section of our platoon, and was in fact, the FDC chief. All that means is that I literally got to "call the shots" when out in the field on a shoot.

One of my favorite things to do on a shoot was to work with the air element. Sometimes we'd just mark for air, basically just dropping a smoke round on a target, and a forward observer radios any adjustment that needs to be made to the pilot of the bird. I loved working with A-10s (Warthogs) the best. They've got a 30 mm cannon on'em that just makes the plane seem like it stops in mid-air when it's fired. Truly awesome to watch!

The other type of work we did with the air wing was called front door/backdoor. No, Harvey. We would drop rounds on the target until the fighters came in, and then resume as they flew away after dropping their rounds. As you can guess, this has to be well timed; mortars are not a flat trajectory weapon! This was incredible to watch. At least to me. The birds would come in low, go "into the pop" (sometimes totally inverted), make their adjustments, and fire away! I would watch them like a little kid, complete with the drooling "wow!" I always wondered what it would look like from their eyes!

Rambling, yes, but damn, some good memories.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 11:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack