Okay, I Kinda Lied ...

but I did sya lite to none. And while I had not a sing;e thought of imbibng, some jackass freomd of mine insitsed on buying this idiot a shot. Which turned into a whole hell of a lot of drinks. God, I shoul.d know better. Drpressed, andgery and buzzed is not a bood combination. Hahahaha .... I spelled it right... combination. HA,

Quick question for all of you peoples that mayt read this; what is the stangerst thing to happen to you in yout house, or place of residence? Serious;y. Yes, I'm drunk, but I'm for real when I ask this. Right now I am pissed (both in Olde Worlde sense, and American sense). I got home from grocery shoppimg this afternooon, and when I walked in the door, I abouty gagged. The f'in kitchen styunk like some nasty kind of cheese. I opened the fridge (and to my dismay, there's no milk, my mther will pay .... ahhh, SOD) and the stench about flattens me. There's milk all ofer a couple of shelbes, and it's nasty. The weird thing is.... I have't had milk in the fridge for a couple of monthes now. Really. What I want ot know is, where the helll did this come from, or was it in the fridge fot the past couple months? I've been in there, and it hasn;'t stunk until today. Nor was there any whit liquic in there, either. Freaking weird, if I do say so myself. No, I wasn't buzzed up earlier.

Someday, I will fill you in on what the hell is goin ohn with me. Until then,m behave. hehehe

Scarce I Am

Ok, storytime. Doo-doo hits air pushing thingy. T1G is (sarcasm) overjoyed. Blogging= lite to none. At least for awhile. Need to crawl off and lick wounds in angry peace and quiet. No, no drunkeness. Not good in this state.

Carnival Of Recipes v14.0

The wagons have arrived, the midway's being set up, and there's a carnie sitting on my barstool!

The 14th Carnival of Recipes has arrived at blog-sis Boudicca's place. She's done a fine job handling the carnies and their recipes. Be sure to check it out!

Cranberry Applesauce

Alright, about time I entered the Carnival. Here's an easy recipe for some really good cranberries. Bachelor cooking skills are all that is required along with:

2 cups water

2 cups sugar

2 oranges, peeled (obviously) and cut into small pieces

2 apples, peeled and cored (again, obviously) and cut into small pieces

2 cups fresh cranberries (whole)

Boil water and sugar for about 5 minutes. Mix in oranges and apples. Boil 15 minutes more. Add cranberries. Boil until berries start popping (between 10 and 15 minutes). Mash and store in quart jar, or serve.

Too easy. Even if inebriated. However, if drinking, be aware that your reflexes will be slowed and you may get pelted with popping berries. They hurt.

Irony, and ..... Just Plain Creepy

Eternal life ... it'll kill ya. Or nearly will, as five workers found out Wednesday. Since no one actually died, I find it pretty damn funny, and ironic.

Next up, something that just creeps me out. I mean, there are so many jokes to be made, and not too many of them would be safe to put on my blog. But more than anything, this method of feeding your dog, and the reasoning behind it, makes me just ...... shudder.

Another Question

After talking with a few co-workers, and more than a few blank stares, I once again feel like I remember things from my own planet.

Could anybody tell me: Do you remember this guy? Dapper Dan? Or his partner, Dressy Bessy? Anyone?

I'm just curious to know how many people remember these learning dolls. HELP!!!

Unfunny

"Leaf me alone, sir. I'm just trying to do my job!"

Heard during this incident.

Ehhh, What's Up, T1G?

Well since you asked, I'll tell ya. A little.

Not a whole lot. As I've said before, I'm working on a few personal things, but otherwise things are normal.

This weekend, I got myself slightly inebriated. Of course, that was after I met Anathematized, and Contagion. I'm glad to have met them. You read the exchanges between Grau's friends on his blog, and when you meet them (at least these two) , you find them to be just as you'd imagined. They're good people, and I had a good time. Although, now I'm considered "gay" because I didn't follow along on their great adventure! Seriously, it was good to meet you two!

Also, I've finished reading The Dark Tower VII, the final book of the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Good... very good. But .... I'm not going to ruin it for those that haven't read it. If you've read it, tell me what you think by clicking on the "Type Me Now" on the side bar.

Other than this, not much else. Just reading others' blogs!

What the ....?

Pilfered from Yorkshire Snowman, who got it from Gemmak, and so on ....

YOU ARE MOLY


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Please tell me .... what the samhell is MOLY?

Update

Sorry my posting has kinda sucked lately. I know that it's not gone unnoticed. Hits are dropping off pretty steadily. Ah, well. Deservedly so. You've gotta post to keep people coming back. *sigh*

Just thought I'd give you a quick update on my cousin's daughter. You remember. Lumps under arms. Painful lumps. Fear of lymphoma. Namely Hodgkins.

Doctor is pretty sure that it is just an infection from a clogged gland. He prescribed antibiotics, and the pain has eased. Looks good so far! Good enough news for me.

As for me, I'm hoping to return to my normal self soon. Going through a couple of things right now, but trying to be positive. Looking forward to posting my regular rot soon!

November 10, 1775 -

229 years, and still going strong! Still the one to call when it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight. The USMC.

Happy Birthday,Teufel Hunden!

As the Germans were kind enough to provide a nick name for Marines, I will be kind enough to eliminate one of their beers; Korbinian, by Weihenstephan.

*raising glass* To the Corps, and to my fellow Marines!

Fire in The Sky

I'm coming home from my nephew's sixth B-day party last night, and I pull up to an intersection in the country. I look right (north), and notice the sky over the road glowing with what I first thought was the glare from headlights. So I wait a couple of seconds, and realize that what I'm seeing isn't that glare, rather, it's the Northern Lights. And they were showing up beautifully! I was only about a mile from my brother's house, and I knew that he would be home from the party soon, so I went over to his place.

This isn't the first time I've seen them, although I sure act like it every time I do see them. This is only the second time I've seen them taking up half of the night sky, though. There wasn't the incredible color changing going on that sometimes occurs, but directly overhead the lights were moving in their eerie dance. Beautiful.

My brother and his girlfriend get home, and now there are three of us standing in the field behind his house, just staring at the sky. I had also called my bro-in-law to let him know. (I'm hoping that they caught them at the right time.) Shortly after I called them, the lights started to fade away.

My brother and I got ourselves some beers and start talking in his garage. After a bit, we step out to do a light check, and they are back and brighter than before! Now we could see the waves moving through the light. Light would shoot through an area of the sky and then fade... two grown men (well, depending on who you talk to, that might not be so accurate) staring into the sky holding their beers in childish fascination. Watching what looked like a large wolf spider's web, covered with dew, blowing in a soft breeze. Watching the lights dance, while making it appear that the stars were matching them step for step. Words can't really express the beauty that had us entranced.

Of course, this made us think of other times that we had observed them. One time, while up north, the lower portion of the sky was glowing orange and purple. At first, it appeared that the woods were on fire! I used to date a girl from Trego, Wisconsin, which is quite aways up there. I loved going up there. I'd sit on her front step at night and watch for the lights. They were so brilliant there ..... *sigh*

I don't know how many of you may have seen this, or even if those of you in the South are able to view them. I just know that if you missed it, I feel for you. As I wonder about those that have seen them, and not felt a certain thrill. One of my favorite things to see, by far!

The Good ...

Who would'a thought the Bears would win? I sure didn't, but I'm sure glad they did. The way the Giants had been playing, I wouldn't have thought it possible.

The Illini ended their losing skid against Big Ten teams,beating Indiana 26 -22, and I was there to see it! It was kind of an ugly one, but they did it. Now, get a new coach, and improve recruiting. (Although I did feel bad for coach Turner when the crowd started chanting, "Fire, Turner!") Best part of all .... I only paid for my gas to get there! A drinking friend plays for the team, so everything was covered. The only "bad" part, was putting up with the crap for not coming down sooner. I was told that they won because I had made an appearance! :)

The day was beautiful, hardly a cloud in the sky, and though it was a little chilly and windy to start, it warmed up, and the wind died in time for the game.

The Bad ...

The Aggies made a fight of it, but couldn't pull it out. Caught updates during the Illini game, and thought they might be able to avenge last year. Nothing doing.

The local high school team is now out of the playoffs as of Saturday. They gave a good fight, but just got worn down.

Tailgate party= good.
Karaoke at tailgate party= not good... matter of fact, BAD!*

*No, I didn't do the singing, I did the mocking! :)

The Ugly ...

Four words. Fantasy. Football. Ass. Beatings.

In one league, I played blogsister Tammi. With one player left, the score looks like this:

	Stumbling Drunks vs	219.73
	Hawks	264.88

My fault, because I didn't get back early enough from the Illini game to enter my lineup. And I ended up playing one injured player (who didn't play), and two players on bye weeks. Ah, well. Look at Tammi's points. She's been putting up numbers close to this each week ... she just hasn't been winning. She deserves a win. I suppose. :)

In my other league, the score is nowhere near being that close.

Milquetoasts vs 29 (me)
Bone's Bitches 67

Twenty two of those points came from one guy... my kicker, Adam Vinatieri. I have two players left, and he's got one ... Edgerrin James. My goose is cooked. My bench players had 73 points. Well played, t1g, well played. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Word O the Rest O the Week

While things are coming back to normal pace around here, I'm still not able to be doing as much as I'd like one this page. So yet another word for a whole week. This one also suggested by a certain someone. The word???

Appalling

Once again, no example, although it does sound like something done before an election.

You can use it properly, or preferrably mutilate the poor little word. Doesn't even have to make sense, just make someone laugh!

Let's see what you've got!

Gig'Em, Aggies!

Nov. 8, 2003
Oklahoma 77, Texas A&M 0 (as in zero)

Nov. 6, 2004 (A chance to make it right) Knock #2 Oklahoma down a notch or two!

Gig'Em, Aggies!!!

What's your guess?

Tonight at work, we grilled out. Steak, brats, sauerkraut, beans, potatoe wedges, potatoe salad, and seafood salad. Man, that was good! But of course, it made me wonder about something.

On the label of the seafood salad, it says,"made with artificial crab meat." *running out door to car, because I just realized the salad is still in there .... back, and this stuff tastes great!* Okay, back to the story. I had to ask one of my co-workers what "artificial crab meat" was. I just had to; I wouldn't be me if I didn't ask important questions like this! Anyway, he couldn't tell me. So I start guessing. I'll tell you what I think, and then you let me know what you think it is.

Far, far, away, in the middle of the Spurious Sea, there is a chain of islands known as the Mereticious Islands. An affectedly beautiful place, indeed! On the largest island, Ersatz, there is a rather large cove. This is known as "Counterfeit Cove," although this isn't the official name. (But it will serve the purpose for this explanation.) Heading out to sea from here, you would pass over an artificial reef that is known as Artificial Reef. (Very original, yes?) This reef is home to the one of a kind Artificial Crabs.

These unique creatures resemble other crabs and taste like other crabs, but yet, are not true crabs. For they are fabricated from .... well, stuff. And here, we lose the explanation, as our space is running out. Sorry. Gotta go.

My Apologies .....

I know that the election is over, and we've been looking forward to not hearing anymore quotes about, or by the candidates. But I read one tonight that's had me laughing, at times out loud. It's from July, so some of you may have heard or read this.

"I got out with my trusty 12-gauge double-barrel, crawl around on my stomach. I track and move and decoy and play games and try to outsmart them. You know, you kind of play the wind. That's hunting."

John Kerry on deer hunting.

It would have been even funnier if he had said that about hunting boar in Tennessee! I will say, the man was good for some laughs!

A forum discussing this statement.

Playtime!!!

Harvey's away! Time to play... head on over, and even though that dog looks friendly, it might be best to bring some sedatives and hamburger!

Respect Dwindles

Tom Brokaw. I've always had some respect for the guy. I liked his books. But I'm starting to think less of the man.

Came across this article, and I'm kinda floored. Tom and his wife are trying to stop hunters from hunting private land that borders their ranch. Safety is their concern. There would be ten hunters on 2,500 acres of land. That's alot of room. But I guess I could see some concern having hunting guides bringing hunters that aren't familiar with the area out to hunt next to me. Stray bullets being a concern .... but, these are freakin bowhunters!!! That's a hell of a lot of area for an arrow to have to fly. Idiot.

President Kerry

An e-mail that I received from my cousin.

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Kerry was not elected President."

The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Kerry was not elected president and does not reside here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Kerry. I've told you already that Mr. Kerry was not elected president and does not reside here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."

Voting

Well, I got'er done. What a royal pain in the buttocks! I get down to the fire station, find the right ward, tell'em my name and address ... not in the book.
"Are you sure you're registered?"
"Uh, yesss."
"You're not on the lists."
"I gathered that .... I am registered though."

Helpful hint: Do not register at the DMV. Last Presidential election, I got to the polls, and even though I could have sworn that I had registered, there was no record of it. Granted, I had gotten my new license and "registered" just a couple of months earlier. Should have received a card, but coming from Wisconsin, where you could register at the polls, I didn't pay much attention. Now in Illinois, no card, no vote. I made sure to fix that with my next trip to the DMV. I thought.

*sidetracked .... I 'm going nuts listening to Bland Blather repeating himself over and over and ..... Stop with the stupid comments. Now. Please. Jackass.*

Sorry. Anyway, after more discussion, phone calls are made to the county courthouse. I'm told to fill out a provisional ballot. Fill out envelope for ballot, and then am told that I can't vote. I insist that I am registered, and I would like to get my vote in. More calls to the courthouse. By now, I'm pissed. Not so much at the people at the polls; they're trying to follow rules. I'm pissed because I'm getting embarrassed over something I know that I've taken care of. I know it! They ask if I have a receipt from my attempted registration. I told them that if they would just wait, I would check my glove box. They hand back my drivers license, and out to the parking lot I go. I'm not exactly sure why I thought it might be there, but sure enough, the receipt was still in there. What a great feeling!

Made my way back inside, and three of the four people I was dealing with looked a little suprised. My thought is that they figured I would bolt. No. Freakin. Way. The old guy sitting at the table just gave me a huge grin. Another call to the courthouse, and now I'm told that the clerk would like to speak to me. It was actually pretty cool .... she apologized profusely. She reaffirmed that I was not on their list, but they had taken care of that. I got to vote, and the grinning old man says to me, "Now that was a fight to get a vote! I'm glad you did it, son!"

What should have taken five minutes, tops, took me forty five. And while I was pissed for awhile, after the elder's comment, I felt proud as hell for dealing with it and not just leaving. I was cursing my luck, and it still worked out for me.

"Luck, my rarely present friend, I apologize for cursing you."

Treat and Trick?

I went over to my cousin's place today, and it's a day full of fun. I got to break up a fight, and had to pull off the "ah, don't worry about it" act.

The older of the two boys loves football. Our town's high school team has made it to state four times in the last seven (?) years. Last year they went again, and won. Older started out with the team, but thanks to a couple of concussions and blackouts, he didn't get to play for the year. He was able to be on the sidelines when they won the championship. He was happy, but bummed at the same time. He was looking forward to playing this year, with the hopes that they would get back to state.

Head injuries have once again kept him on the sidelines. He's been involved with the team, practicing with them, and lifting, but he can't suit up. And of course, the team is again in the playoffs, and won handily (35-0) in the first round. He's crushed knowing he can't be an active part of the team.

Younger also plays. The kid is strong as an ox, but has no heart for the game. He could easily be a starter if he tried at all. This drives everyone nuts, especially Older.

Younger is also a "mouth." Today he and Older got to squabbling as brothers should. Then out of nowhere, comes "Oh, shut up, Waterboy!" Older just went nuts. After some grappling and choking, and a few half-hearted "knock it off"s from me, the punching began. I let Older hammer him a couple of good times, and then shoved my way between them. I stuck my head right in the middle of the two, and the punching stopped. Yes, I was making them think that if they hit me, both of their butts were going to get kicked! I sent Older outside to cool off, while I had a chat with Younger. The cool part was, even though there were others (parents) around, we were able to keep them from knowing.

The other fun part of the day wasn't fun at all. The Sister to Older and Younger has made some complaints before about hurting under her arms. She's a cheerleader, so much of the pain has been attributed to catches. But in the last week, she's developed some lumps under her arms. As in, "right where the lymph nodes are" under the arm. Today when I was talking with her mom, she said something that made me stop. And then immediately go into the "ah, don't worry too much" mode. She asked me about Hodgkins disease. I had another cousin, years ago, that had that, right at about the same age as Sister. The doctors were able to get rid of it then, but it did come back, and she had so many problems for the rest of her life ......

I know it's way to early to be worried, but after I left there, that's all I've done. Hell, the reason I'm up posting right now is because I had a nightmare about it. Yes, she is going to the doctor this week. And I'm almost sure that it's just going to be some kind of infection being fought off. But I can't help but worry. The kid is my bud. Keep your fingers crossed for her.

Monday

A little something that I wrote after a gawdawful lovely Monday.

Monday=Hell

I 'waken to the morn's first light
the start of a fresh day.
The chance to start all things anew,
..... damn, the sky looks gray.

I feel a sudden nervous twinge,
don't like this covered sun.
Glance quickly at the alarm clock,
"Oh, crap!," it's half past one.

At once, I fly out of the rack
I've got to leave by two.
I fall into a crumpled heap,
as I trip over my shoes.

Cautiously, I start to shower,
cold water's what I dread.
It shouldn't be my main concern...
I slip and smash my head.

Lying on the floor of the tub,
I don't appear alive.
When suddenly my fear's realized...
cold water doth revive!

I towel myself off carefully,
I'm aching everywhere.
Still a little woozy, use a
razor to "brush" my hair.

Throw on a hat, run out the door,
to eat something, I stop.
Hurriedly hit the road again,
"Pull over!" says the cop.

Checking plates, writing out ticket,
a twenty minute wait.
I'm finally on the road once more,
but thirty minutes "late."

I'm running through the door at work,
"Hey, what's the hurry, Mack?
Did you forget, or'd no one tell,
your start time's been moved back?!"

I make my way back to my car,
to cheer myself I try.
I realize things could be worse,
I could be "that one guy"!