August 30, 2007

Stinky Cheese

I just made poop come out of my butt.

On an ordinary day, under ordinary circumstances, this feat would definitely not be considered "extraordinary." But given the amount of cheese sticks and string cheese that I consumed yesterday, this is to be considered a miracle. Probably not on the level of the Virgin Birth, butt in the anals annals of history, this reeks ranks up there with the best.

I know that some of my readers are expecting details, but I'm not going to get into the delicate fragrances, nuances, or the soft roadkill finish of this heavenly deposit. No textures or appearances. You'll just have to envision and imagine the pile... I've got to get back on the road. Kearney, Nebraska.

More on a later date... if I have internet.

I know you're all on the edge of your seats...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 07:30 AM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

August 23, 2007

Dear Chocolate Rain,

So I stop by Elisson's web log, and I see that he's linked a video, and one of it's parodies... the parody being from Chad Vader. Mr. Dax Montana introduced me to Chad, last year, and they are some pretty decent shorts.

Anyway, I got to exploring some of the other spoofs and parodies of this particular song, and I ran across one that caused me to blow a snot bubble of epic proportions. Not so much from being funny, though it is, but from surprise... I'd forgotten about the particular spoof that they spoofed along with their spoof. Check it out:

I know it's old, but it still cracks me up. Then again, I am fairly easily amused...

For those who don't know what the hell is going on, explanation do be found below.

Back in April, Saturday Night Live did a short called "Dear Sister," which was a spoof on a scene from the OC's season finale, second season. Not so much a spoof of the events in the scene, it spoofed the direction of the scene... the slow motion turns and looks. It was one of the funniest SNL skits in quite awhile.

The spoof spawned all kinds of videos on You Tube, some lame, and some pretty decent. From Disney's Lion King and Pocohantas, to TV shows like The Office, Bugs Bunny to Pirates of the Caribbean, and quite a few home movies, there were all kinds of responses. If you haven't seen them, check'em out.

The music (not "Chocolate Rain") is from Imogen Heap, and the song is called "Hide and Seek." I only mention it because, in many of the videos, credit is given, but yet, people keep asking who it is.

This way, you too can feel like a dumbass for asking me in the comments! :)

Posted by That 1 Guy at 12:12 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 20, 2007

Once More, Home

Well... Zog back. Zog found cave. Zog happy.

Took my ma for a ride out to Fresno. Beautiful country, it was. Driving through Utah, near Capitol (Capital... both spellings are there) Reef, we got to see one of the most incredible sights that I've ever been privileged to see. And I had no camera...

From many miles off, we could see a ridgeline. Immediately above, there was a severe thunderstorm, and you could see the sheets of water hammering down on the rock. Where the storm cloud ended, there was clear sky, and the sun shone down just behind, causing the ridge to glow. It looked as if it were made of obsidian at one glance, and gold the next. Awesome.

The hunt for housing went okay. Didn't know if it was going to work out, but we ran into a little goddess named Athena, and she helped everything come about. There was no immediate openings in the complex she manages, but she called four others and tracked down some good deals for me. I ended up signing with one of the places she referred.

There are some very clever management companies out there... the very first place we checked out was managed by a Salma Hayek look a like. Hell... she may have even looked better. I felt a bit rude tripping over my tongue, but it couldn't be helped. She mentioned that there was a one month waiting list (for the apartments), and then mentioned that she lived in the complex, too. Who the hell wouldn't want to live there? Alas, it was not meant to be... but the image of her walking up the stairs with her perfect legs disappearing under her short, tight, black skirt.... mmmmmmm... it's forever etched into my mind.

After the cave was found and claimed, we ran up to Yosemite... a place that I will frequent. Mother of Gott... it's beautiful. Again, I was wishing that I had a soul stealing device. We only made it to Mariposa Grove, and then Glacier Point, but then again, there's no way that you could enjoy this whole park in a single day, or even a weekend. Gives a man goosebumps to see such scenery...

Ma had never been to the Canyon Grande, so on our way back, we made a small detour to hit the South Rim. Another breathtaking stop... and it's only a little over ten hours away from Fresno...

We had noticed that there was a little bit of rain going on back home. As a matter of fact, most of the past two days were spent driving through storms. Saturday, we had to stop in Elk City, OK, because the rains, and my eyelids, got pretty heavy. Probably a good thing we stopped... ditches were flooded, and there were quite a few cars that were down there keeping the water company.

Got up this morning, and I helped ma with a few projects outside. I noticed animals going by in pairs, heading down towards Turtle Creek, where a large wooden boat was moored. From what I understand, most of this is about done (yeah, right) and tomorrow and the following days will greet us with high temps and high humidity. And to think that I thought I had escaped Florida...

Now... I'm home, with a million things to do. Should be heading out next Wednesday.

And this time, I'll bring a picture taker.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 10:34 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

August 13, 2007


Thanks to all of you for the all of the prayers, salt tossing, chicken sacrificing, and kitten stompage...

Had a job opportunity come up that sounded better than the Cali job, and I'd had an interview on Thursday. Things went well, but there were over 50 of us applying for six jobs. Me no get one.

All's cool, though... it may not have turned out the way that I'd hoped, but it did turn out the way that I wanted. Huh? Yeah.

I'm off to find a cave in the San Joaquin valley. See ya in a couple of days.

Thanks again!

Posted by That 1 Guy at 09:36 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 09, 2007


Hey... just a quick request. I'm going to be gone for most of the day, and I could use a few extra good vibes, good thoughts, well wishes... just plain old goodlierness. So if you would, please take a couple of seconds to toss some salt over your shoulder, find that four leaf clover, sacrifice a chicken, stomp kittens... or even pray (whatever causes good things to happen for you), that would be appreciated. Thanks.

T1G gone

Posted by That 1 Guy at 04:57 AM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

August 07, 2007


Heavy rains have recently pounded this area. Saturday, riding from wedding to reception... on a motorcycle, saw some decent rains in the Beloit area. Later, after the reception closed up at 2 am, I got to ride in torrential downpours to a bar just a couple of blocks from my bro's house. My tux was soaked. One friend, who lives outside of town, reported just under 5 inches of rain, a little bit higher than most reported.

Last night, we got pounded again, this time in Rockford. Stillman saw some nasty weather, but nothing like they got up North. The area saw flooding... again.

Noticed that one of the buildings that was flooded was a church, and it prompted a bit of discussion.

Disasters and calamities are often blamed on Gott's anger... was Gott pissed at Himself? And if so, what did He do? Or fail to do?

Posted by That 1 Guy at 08:53 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 03, 2007


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August 02, 2007


For Ogre...

Posted by That 1 Guy at 09:16 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

So's You Know

It has been brought to my attention that I suck at keeping folks up to date. Um... I've been telling you folks that for a long time now. I do that with everyone... family included. Not sure why I do that, but thanks for reminding me...

Anyways, here's a quick update:

California. I've taken the job, but had to go in to Chicago for a physical and drug test. Drug test went off without a hitch. Physical? Not so lucky. As most of you may have picked up on, I am "this guy" who has high blood pressure. I was told by Dr. Osama that I needed to see my physician, get my blood pressure under control, and then report back to him. He would not approve the physical until we had everything stabilized. The physical was on Monday... all's clear.

Talked with future boss man. I should be out in Fresno by the end of the month. That is unless I hear from another opportunity closer to home. Better money, better benies, less moving. Doubt that I'll hear anything from them...

Brother is getting married this weekend. May have some pics. I also may not. You'll see, either way.

On my writing in metaphors:

It's something I do. I don't like looking down at what I've written, and noticing that I have written "I" a million times. I'll then rewrite my post in metaphors so that I do not irritate you as much as I irritate me.

Still single. Not married. No wedding was in the works. Nothing. The partner referred to was job related.

That's pretty much it. I shall get back to leaving you folks in the dark.

T1G, out.

Posted by That 1 Guy at 09:02 AM | Comments (15) | TrackBack