January 07, 2008


I've been to hell. I spell it...I spell it dmv
Anyone thats been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee-call it pointless
- Primus
I've got an appointment with the DMV for Thursday, so I decided to do a bit of recon. You know, time it out, make sure I know exactly where it is. I also figured to pick up the rule books so I can ace the tests.

Holy crap...

I've been from the country, and smaller towns, all of my life. What I saw today blew me away...

I walked into the office, and found it to be crammed full. No seats available, standing room only. As a matter of fact, there were folks standing outside.

And how many people were crammed inside?

I kid you not... there had to be almost two hundred. Seriously, if that's an exaggeration, it's only slight. What a frickin' cluster!!!

Me, being as good with crowds as I am, I executed a sharp about face and evacuated the premises. Damn near had an anxiety attack.

How the hell does a person keep from freaking out???

Posted by That 1 Guy at January 7, 2008 08:43 PM | TrackBack

Put on a face full of hate.

But I still have a hard time handling large crowds of people. That time the Yukon affected me way too much.

Even my friends will try to get me out of a restaurant if it starts to get too loud.

Posted by: rsm at January 7, 2008 10:09 PM


Play it loud enough an no one will even sit by you......

oh - and good luck!

Posted by: tammi at January 8, 2008 05:35 AM

Dude, what did you expect? Number 1 it's the government, 2 it's California. They have no motivation to get people out of there. You did the right thing by making an appt. I've always had good luck that way. Also try going to one of the other DMV's around.

Posted by: Navy CPO at January 8, 2008 09:38 AM

this is why you get an appointment! Seriously.

But the folks at the Blackstone and Sierra office are generally really nice. Can you tell I've been there more than a few times?

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 8, 2008 10:10 AM

I'm with RSM, but I've a little to add. Go in there, holler at the top of your lungs... "I'm fuckin' JOE, I hate crowds and I got an appointment, and y'all are pissin' me off".

If you know those lyrics to Move bitch get out the way, I reckon you could drop a couple of those lines on the crowd and see what happens.

There's been enough freaks in Californication they might actually take you serious.

Posted by: RedNeck at January 8, 2008 10:31 AM

If CA DMV is anything like Washington state you need to get online and search for a nice lil' out of the way ho' dunk place that one would wonder why it's even there. Go there and you'll see it's worth the few extra miles.

Posted by: Anna at January 8, 2008 10:52 AM

Pretend your at Frtiz's, but with 170 people extree, and no beer

Posted by: awtm at January 8, 2008 11:13 AM

I don't know but it's a prerequisite to be a total BITCH to work there. I hate the staff at DMV's. Pfft, good luck next time. Maybe cram a xanax down your throat and see if that helps a bit. I'd rather walk or take a bus before I enter another office like that.

Posted by: upset waitress at January 8, 2008 01:59 PM

I keep finding ways to go to DMVs in or around small towns. Right now, my truck is registered at my in-laws place; a farm = commercial truck. I go to the DMV in their little town and use their address as my own. Shameful but effective.

Posted by: Barmy Mama at January 8, 2008 04:38 PM

And being pregnant helps get you through lines like you wouldn't believe. Find some random pregnant woman and take her with you ;)

Posted by: Barmy Mama at January 8, 2008 04:40 PM

People will move out of your way if you cough repeatedly and loudly. If that doesn't work, snort and make the "hock a loogie" sound, then make a scene about swallowing it.

Then again, it is California, they might ALL be doing that! :)

Posted by: ktreva at January 8, 2008 07:19 PM