May 19, 2006

An Enemy

While Silent Warrior has engaged their forces in the north, it seems that I have a "floater" cell of FART (Free Allied Rodent Threat) bringing their war here. I mentioned before the apparent alliance between the hornets and gophers, and my war with the bees. Not sure if I mentioned the bats, but they are no longer to be considered. They are long gone, as evidenced by the early appearance of mosquitos. The bats were annoying, but I wish they had stuck around the area when they moved. Anyway, looking at the current situation, I realize that these pests are well organized, and a serious threat.

The hornets are still hanging around. But they've yet to get a solid foothold on the territory known as my home. They've started nests in my doorway, but those are removed with swift and extreme prejudice. All landing pads are soaked in Raid at regular intervals. The light fighter units of ASS (Air Superiority Squadron) are no real threat at this time. I've got other concerns.

The super gopher that I mentioned the other day? Not the only one. This morning, I spied three of the little bastards, apparently all recovered from their feast of "special peanuts." The whereabouts of the other two are in question, but I'm pretty sure that they are soon to turn up.

It could be that they are a new set of gophers, moving into the abandoned tunnels haunted by their "pre-deceasers." I'd not put money on that, for I'm certain that the one that grinned at me the other day, flipped me off this morning. Double barrelled, even. He's fully recovered, and wants me to know. Or he's a totally different gopher, and he's just jacking with me. While fairly simple to do, it does show the intelligence these little rats have.

I'm thinking that they've even got technology on their side... I've heard beeping, like a heart monitor, when I've put my ear to the ground. Unfortunately, I can't pinpoint it... it seems to come from everywhere. But I'm certain that they've got an underground hospital, maybe even a couple of them, in their tunnel network. They probably got their little stomachs pumped, and stayed in the hospital until they could effectively pester me. Hey... now that I think about it, I bet the other two were near death, and they were put into a cryogenic state of suspended animation until the lab gophers can come up with a cure. I wouldn't put it past them...

Ah... there's one now... gotta run..

Posted by That 1 Guy at May 19, 2006 11:01 AM

Heh, welcome to the battle sir! That's friggin hilarious..."super gopher"

Good luck!

Posted by: silentwarrior at May 19, 2006 11:44 AM

I have a 12 gauge you can borrow . . .

Posted by: oddybobo at May 19, 2006 11:44 AM

Dang, Joe, I now have visions of you running around your yard dressed like Bill Murray, with cute little gophers dancing around to Kenny Loggins.

This is going to leave a scar.

Posted by: Raging Mom at May 19, 2006 12:53 PM

Take off and nuke the site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: Graumagus at May 19, 2006 01:07 PM

FAE. Next thing to a nuke, will clear the bunkers. Just to be safe, follow Grau's advice and then nuke the site from orbit. It really is the only way to be sure.

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at May 19, 2006 06:54 PM