September 07, 2005

Tips For Hunting Stingy Things

Due to my hours and a hectic schedule, I haven't spent much time outside of my house during the heat of the day. Lawn mowing was done in the fading light, or early morning. So it came as quite the surprise the other day when I discovered that my house is a hive. No kidding. Hundreds, if not thousands of bees, living in a hole in my wall, above my kitchen roof. Some had even made it into the attic... they covered the window.

I've rid myself of them, hopefully, and have decided to share a few tips. Things that may make the experience as easy and pain-free as possible.

1. Wait until dusk, or even dark: Bees, wasps, hornets all return to their nests or hives at the end of the day. Flying around scaring and stinging folks is hard work. After a couple of tankards of mead, they're down for the night. Strike whilst they're passed out.

2. Wear appropriate clothing: Try to cover as much skin as possible. Wear gloves, hat, long sleeve shirt or jacket, jeans and jump boots if available. Netting may help, but don't get carried away... you'll need to be able to move.

3. Use the proper spray: Approach the nest/hive with caution. There were still many milling about when I did this... and it was well after dark. Use a foam, preferably one that will spray from a long distance. Do not use a regular spray, no matter how much the helpful hardware man tells you that it works just as well. Foam knocks them down, spray... well, that leads to the next tip.

4. Plan your route of egress: In my case, I had to climb on top of a roof to get to the wall just below the eaves of the next roof. You want to allow for things to happen. Say you use a regular spray... I can guarantee that you're not using the ladder to climb back down. This is where the jump boots come in. You're feet are going to sting, but at least you're quickly back to the ground. Sprinting is a good plan.

5. Remember this: "Stop, drop, and roll", is a totally asinine thing to do. "Duck and cover" rates right there, too. Welts will accumulate faster than you can say "Raid." Stinging pests about to die want to take someone with them. YOU WANT TO KEEP MOVING. Trust me on this.

6. Celebrate the killing of your enemies with a beer... or gin and tonic... or whatever. Just consume plenty of alcohol.

Hope these are of some help to you. Good luck.

Posted by That 1 Guy at September 7, 2005 12:34 AM | TrackBack