November 05, 2006


There are times when one must do what shouldn't really be done. This, my thought on this fine Sunday morning.

Fresh from the shower, I decided to trim my back claws. They weren't too bad, yet, but when you've got heels that demolish the backs of your shoes and socks like mine do, why give them reinforcement from their brothers on the front, the toenails? I grabbed my shears, and set to work.

Have you ever stopped and looked at the funk underneath your toenails? I mean, gotten right down there, or examined a clipping, and given it careful consideration. There is some nasty looking shit going on, and I'm fungus free on the ol' hooves... another advantage of not eating mushrooms. (I know it's got nothing to do with it, but it sounds convincing...) Cleaned or not, funk abides. It draws a shudder... you've really got to wonder about folks with foot fetishes.

Now, it may seem a bit off for me to say that, but then to consider Quentin Tarantino to be one of the luckiest bastards alive... because he got to suck on Salma Hayek's toes in "From Dusk 'Til Dawn." That's a damn fine leg to be looking up, but most importantly, there was alcohol involved. Yes, alcohol, killer of germs and possible funks, was being poured down that incredible leg, over her beautiful foot and toes, and down Tarantino's throat. Purification by alcohol.

But I'm kind of drifting away from the point... some things must be done, no matter what. Someone needed to suck on Salma's toes, and Quentin stepped up. I salute the lucky son of a bitch brave soul. That took something special, to be able to do that. (I'd have switched places with him if it were mud... mud cleanses, too, you know.)

These are my all important, albiet muddled and sleep deprived, thoughts, on this fine November morning that doesn't seem a bit like November but actually June, or early July... maybe even late May.

Anyway, happy Sunday. Don't forget to thank Gott for inventing alcohol.

Posted by That 1 Guy at November 5, 2006 09:17 AM | TrackBack

Well there are SEVERAL reason's to Thank Gott for inventing alcohol - but I gotta tell you no where on *my* list is there anything to do with Selma Hayek's toes. Seriously.

But it does bring to mind a certain evening involving that very same movie you refer to and a certain someone trying to convince AW & I that they didn't even remember she was IN that flick. Hmmmmm.....


Posted by: Tammi at November 5, 2006 10:10 AM

... that is a great scene, sure... but once she went native and turned scaly, it kinda ruined it for me....

Posted by: Eric at November 5, 2006 10:12 AM

To be sure, man... but it really is all about living for the moment.

Eat, drink, and suck toes. For in a few minutes, you die.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 5, 2006 11:09 AM

I have to say that this post damn near made me puke. Just the thought of someone sucking on toes makes me want to hurl my lunch all over. Ugh. And my toes? Touch them and die!

Posted by: drc at November 5, 2006 02:04 PM

I'm gonna email ya a picture I shot yesterday at me nephew's wedding

Posted by: Tom Hindman at November 5, 2006 02:40 PM

Kinda of funny because today I went to get a pedicure and the lady next to me at the most disgustingly awful toes that I couldn't watch. If I looked, I felt nauseous. I seriously had to turn my head.

That being said. I do not have funk toes. I have pretty toes. I am anal about my feet and hands for some reason.

Posted by: Sissy at November 5, 2006 07:29 PM

No funk under my toe nails! I keep them way short.

No way in hell could I suck on someone's toes. Nope. But... I could suck on Antonio Banderas's thighs. Does that count? Toes are on the foot, which are on his leg. Right?!

Posted by: Bou at November 5, 2006 09:31 PM

Did you ever notice that people who wear sandals out in public usually have the nastiest looking toes...and heels. Suck that? I'd need a tequila chaser.

Posted by: Jerry at November 5, 2006 10:48 PM

Not a toe sucker. Grosses me out to think about it. You walk on those suckers. Give me some other part of the body.

Posted by: vw bug at November 6, 2006 07:03 AM

What would people think of me if I asked random folks "do you give good toe?" cause I'm thinking it's a rather interesting phenomenon. I'm jest saying!

Posted by: oddybobo at November 6, 2006 12:58 PM

"Do you give good toe?"

Heh! That's just funny!

Posted by: Sissy at November 6, 2006 07:49 PM

Well Oddy - they'd probably say "How YOU doin'?"


Posted by: Tammi at November 6, 2006 09:10 PM