Travels

I'm not sure, but I'd lay money that last week was a meeting of the Southeastern US Pork Producers. There were pigs everywhere! You couldn’t go more than 5 miles without catching a whiff of bacon. As I was driving along, I kept having quotes from a certain duo running through my head.

Stoner: Hey, your honor, man!
Lawyer whispers: No, no... the judge is over there.
Stoner: Hmphk... oh yeah. Hey, your honor, man. Now dig, man. Like I know a lot of cats, man, call you a pig, man. You know what I mean, man? Nah, really man. But I ain't like that man, dig man? Cuz I dig pigs, man.

from "Trippin' in Court," by Cheech and Chong

Pedro: Hey, hey, man! Lookit... there's the cops man... hey, ask them if they'll give us a push.
Man: Alright... hey! HEY!!! Can you pigs give us a push?!?!?
Pedro: Hey, man... don't say that!
Man: Oh far out, man, they're turning around...
Pedro: I know… (starts crying)

from "The Continuing Adventures Of Pedro De Pacas And Man," by Cheech and Chong

It wasn't really the best week to be putting some serious miles on the car, but, fortunately, I made out much better than some folks did. Heheheh... the Party Boys' "The Case of the Red Arrow" provided me with another couple of quotes to add. Thank Gott that I didn't get my chance to visit with an Officer Friendly ... I'd have been grinning as I imagined Yabu Party saying, "The Fuzz? Fuck a bunch of Fuzz..," and Denny Party showing his support; "You are a monumental dumbass..." Ah, good times...

After a quick trip up to Savannah, I headed over to Pensacola. There, I was to meet up with Tree Hugging Sister from Coalition of the Swilling. I had some extra time, so I got a chance to hook up with Bou, and to meet the rest of her family. I'd already met her hubby and the three boys, as well as her sister Morrigan, but I'd never gotten to meet The Great Omnipotent One (her father), Hubba (a very appropriate nickname for her mother), or her brother Toluca Nole. Great people, all of them, and I wish that I had a bit longer to visit with them... seemed like I had just gotten there, and I was leaving. I hope that I can get the chance to visit with them again.

Racing back to the hotel, I called THS and let her know that I was on my way... we were thinking that we'd be stuck waiting for a table at McGuire's Pub. I hadn't been back to my room for very long when the phone rang, and there they were, THS and her hubby, Major Dad. After a couple of quick handshakes, and a big hug from THS, we were on our way to McGuire's, where their son, Ebola, had already secured a table. After a short sermon from the kindly kooks across the street, we made our way in to some kickass food and beer.

McGuire's itself was a blast. A little different, but a lot of fun. If I lived anywhere near there, that would be one of my hangouts. But the pub wasn't all that I enjoyed that night. It was great to be able to visit with some fellow bloggers and Marines. Hell... Marines, bloggers... that right there is almost a guarantee of a good time! ;) We visited for awhile, had plenty of McGuire's stout (oh yeah, we drank a toast to numbing minds with two years of Drunken Wisdom), and swapped stories... some of my favorites being THS's great a-driving abilities. That's "assistant driver," if you missed that. Heheheh... poor Major Dad. Seriously, it was great to meet them. I wish like hell that I could have gotten up early enough the next morning to head over to their place for breakfast. (Major Dad is reported to make an EXCELLENT breakfast.) Alas, I needed to hit the road again...

That day, I met up with Zonker, RSM, and Denny in a Greek restaurant near Atlanta. Topics of conversation bounced all over the place; from Acidman's funeral, to lesbian cat sisters. Softball, to horny lemurs. Crazy womens, to uncommonly beautiful women. Speaking of beautiful women, we even made a call to another blogger who had asked me to drunk dial her and let her speak to everyone.

Unfortunately, Denny and RSM had to leave, so that left Zonker and myself to drink beer; a fate that we bravely accepted. We headed into the Mellow Mushroom and tore up their Boddington's supply while attempting to play darts. Heheh... ugly. That's all I can say about our dart throwing prowess. Okay... one more thing... non-existent. One of the locals challenged us, and I think he was truly whelmed.

I'm not sure who's idea it was, but we decided that it would be best for everyone if we just stayed out 'til the bar closed... 3 am. It was four or a little after by the time I hit the rack. I was up by eight so that I could head out to Eric Party's straight white abode in the hills of Tennessee. Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap. I was hurting for sleep. Thank gott that a stop at Ronnie Mac's took away the little bit of the hangover I was feeling. That drive would have sucked, and it was only a couple of hours!

I got to Eric's place around noon thirty or so, where I was once again able to view the rare SWG in its natural habitat. Beers were had, scotch was sipped... or swilled... and we set about living the unbearably torturous life that is Eric's. Truly, a weaker man than he would perish in the wilds at his place... thank Gott I'm not a weaker man. Heh...

We did hunt for spiders, to no avail, and then I sat on the patio contemplating the hammock on the back edges of the wilderness. I would have climbed in, but it is a serious trek across the county to make it to the back of his yard. Who knows what critters lurk in the yard between the patio and the hammock? I wasn't willing to make another trip to the Etowah emergency room.

I may have helped to create a monster while there. While kicking back on the patio, it was discovered that the wireless reaches with minimal signal loss. All he needs is a laptop, and Eric will be able to live blog the wilds from the patio. "... that seven legged mutant spider has returned, children... jumping from the table to my knee, and back again... just as long as he stays away from my plate, all is cool... I have just returned from building myself another bacon sammidge... you can never have too much bacon... well shit, rubberneckers... it appears I'm going to be running into town... pulling a knife may work on V-man, but it's not the best idea when dealing with a spider... especially when he's hopped onto your leg... word... there is alot of blood... heheheh .... reminds me of a story ... "

After a breakfast of bacon sandwiches, and fortified with a bag of beef jerky, a nanner, a coke, and a chewy granola bar (which I’m supposed to write a review on), I left Eric's, and headed straight on home. It took eleven hours even... great time. The traffic moved along very well. I probably could have cut out a half hour if I didn't stop to view the mountains. I had debated stopping by Jerry's place, but I didn't think he'd be back from Oklahoma, yet. Heheh... within just a couple of minutes of going past the exit to his place, he called. He had just gotten into the airport there in Indie. Ah, well... we should be hooking up this week.

If you look over to the "We've Shared A Flask" column, you'll see some new names. Bad Bad Juju, Catfish, Coalition of the Swilling, Dizzy Girl, Lee Ann's View, Mom Is Nutz, Shadowscope, and Velociman are all folks I've met on this last road trip. Some were met under less than desirable circumstances, and some were meetings set up far in advance. I got drunk with some of them, and I didn't get to visit with others nearly as much as I'd have liked… a couple were just a quick meeting. All are good peeps, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them all a little bit better.

I know I say it every time I write about meeting fellow bloggers, but if you ever get the chance to meet with them, DO IT! A lot of these folks are family... the family you like.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that they are sane… just that you’ll like them.

Posted by That 1 Guy at July 11, 2006 06:36 AM | TrackBack