May 23, 2006

Another Suggestion For Grau

Bloggers are a different lot. That's a very obvious fact. Whether they take themselves too seriously, or just don't seem to care, they are all very similar. Oh, sure, their personal styles vary, but deep down, they share many qualities, with two of them seemingly dominant.

I like to say that I'm shy, but to be technical, I'm just quiet. Elisson and I were discussing bloggers during the Blown Star Blodge Meet, and he pointed out, correctly, that there is no such thing as a shy blogger. Anyone who is willing to toss their personal views, thoughts, or opinions out into a public forum is not shy. We also came to the conclusion that bloggers are all sadists and masochists. It's true. Why else would they post the things they do, whether it's a post on their blog, or a comment on another's?

The first time I noticed this, was back when Eric posted about his cyst. Since then, I've seen many examples, with some very recently: Contagion's exploded nards, Bloodspite's consumption of brewed bile (not despite warning reviews, but because of them), and now, Graumagus giving away his pride. Hell, I even did one myself, asking for help, though, it was just a hypothetical question. Sadists abound when you post these things.

The thing is, while these first seem like an attempt to gain sympathy from the dwellers of the intraweb, the masochistic authors know that the sadists will be lining up to kick them while they're down. That's what they want! We They get pleasure from their peers putting the boots to them. Most times, though, it's subtle begging... with Grau's post, I picture Mr. Buzzcut (only MUCH rounder, with a beard, and no hair), arms akimbo, screaming at the blogosphere, "KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!" *punt* "YEEEEAAASSSSSSS!!!! MORE, DAMMIT!!!" The man truly is a sicko... that's where my next suggestion for his mid-life crisis contest comes in. I think he'll truly appreciate it.

Army Wife and I were talking, and we were trying to come up with something that might initially humiliate him, but could later benefit him. Big time. We're talking book deals, and TV appearances. It falls inside his guidelines, too. Well, damn near. But rules are made for stretching, much like skin. The only catch is that we would need to collect some ching to do it, but he does allow for that; "1)Must cost less than $100 unless you bastards are willing to cough up the dough for whatever sick shit you inflict on me."

What the hell are we planning? Well, it's not totally original, but there's a benefit to that, too. He and the original guy can stage fights, competitions, or wet T-shirt contests if they want. It'll definitely bring in the dough for him. The cool thing is that we only ask a small cut from the profits he reaps.

Still don't know what the hell I'm talking about? Then you didn't click the link that mentioned a dude getting breast implants... and keeping them.

I think Grau may argue that we are breaking rule 7 (No permanent body modification. I'm not getting anymore tats just yet.), but he only mentioned tattoos. I think this could be a very good thing for him, and that is the only reason that I propose it.

Well, that, and I am a bit sadistic...

Posted by That 1 Guy at May 23, 2006 10:51 AM


I never mentioned the breat implants be permanent, they can be temporary. I am cool with that.

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at May 23, 2006 11:19 AM

Very good point... if he takes them out, it's not "permanent modification." Everyone's happy.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at May 23, 2006 11:23 AM

... thanks for bringing that up, bastard... I've been trying to FORGET about that episode of my life...

Posted by: Eric at May 23, 2006 04:33 PM

Yea... no one wants to see that.

Posted by: Contagion at May 23, 2006 05:52 PM

Breaking rule 7 possibly, rule 6 definately. No he/shes for me!

Posted by: Maranda Rites at May 23, 2006 06:06 PM

What if he got them on his legs? ;)

Posted by: That 1 Guy at May 23, 2006 06:12 PM

Bwahaha! On his legs, hilarious!

Posted by: Maranda Rites at May 23, 2006 06:26 PM

Sadistic doesn't begin to cover it...

Posted by: Elisson at May 23, 2006 07:10 PM

I could get one on each inner thigh so I could... uhhmm.. nevermind :)

Posted by: Graumagus at May 24, 2006 02:17 AM

No- he needs only ONE breast implant...

...on his back...for dancing...

Posted by: Rave at May 28, 2006 07:59 AM