March 02, 2006


Watched Waiting last night. Now that was a pretty damn funny movie. I don't care what the critics said, it was good. But getting away from the movie itself, I wanna focus on "The Game."

If you've seen it, you are probably grinning to yourself wondering where I'm going to go with this. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, first, shame on you, and second, the goal of "The Game" is to flash your 'nads at a co-worker, and get them to look. When they do, you call them "fags," and depending on what method was used, you get to kick them in the ass a certain number of times. That's the Game...

One of the actors, Dane Cook, was being interviewed in the extra features, and he said that guys play games like that all the time. It's what guys do... I thought about it, and I can't really disagree, though nut flashing was never one on the games I'd play. As a matter of fact, I didn't play many of them, instead threatening a slow painful death to anyone trying to include me...

When I was going to school... BIBLE frickin' SCHOOL... as in Christian College... the Nerf football was very popular. We could play catch in the halls of the dorm, and never had to worry about breaking anything other than bones when someone took a tumble down the stairwells. One afternoon, some poor unfortunate soul walked out of his room, right between two guys playing catch, and received a blow to the boys. A new game was born...

For the next few weeks... hell, months... guys would be walking in the halls when someone would scream, "Lob Wars!" and suddenly Nerf footballs became instruments of would be castrations. Sometimes there were over a dozen footballs flying. It was very popular, and yes, I have to admit, after hitting the class president square in the lads and hearing him scream, I played almost everytime "War" was declared.

When I was in the Marines, the guys in our platoon, and soon the company, would play, "Piss Blood." They would walk up behind someone who was playing, and punch them in the kidneys as they screamed, "Piss Blood!!!" After watching a buddy writhing on the ground, holding his back and laughing while crying, I made it very clear that the first time someone included me in this game, was the last time that person would ever play. Something about being beaten and tossed over the third deck balcony.

Out of the fleet, and back in civilian life, I met a friend who would "dick" the food of his friends. And they'd get him, too. When he first mentioned it, I swore he said "dip." While kinda nasty, it was almost acceptable. Then one day, his friend brought out a tray of food, and left it while he took a phonecall. Spence looked at me, started laughing, and then dimpled the guy's sandwich with his thumb. When he got back, he noticed the dimple, started yelling about his food getting "dicked." That's when it clicked. Spence looked at him, and told him that it was clean... he had just showered. The guy wouldn't touch it, so Spence sat down and started chowing... his buddy looked sick.

Hell, Spence is also the guy who would walk up if your hand was on the edge of a table or bench, and as he set his satchel on your hand, would make a scene about you grabbing his meat. After I punched him in his "meat," he didn't target me anymore.

Then there were the welders at the Corp. I hung out with quite a few of them, possibly because none of them were right in the head. They were a blast to be around, though they would beat the shit out of each other. There was no warning, no call, just a quick crippling strike of knuckle on bone (usually arm, but also ribs and shoulder blade). I kid you not, one of my buddies thought his arm had been broken after one guy hit him. He had a knot that stuck up over a half an inch, and he couldn't move his fingers or hand for almost half an hour. I took one glancing blow, then armed myself with a large pinbar, and let them know that I would be more than happy to break their bones. Thankfully, no one put me to the test.

So how about you? Did you play any stupid games like that, or are you still doing it? And you ladies... do you have any games that you play with each other? *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

Wait... that'd be considered art (see #7).

Posted by That 1 Guy at March 2, 2006 08:17 PM

I'm so glad I'm a woman. Good grief. No. I don't play any games like these with my women friends... and I'm happy to say the plethora of male friends I have excluded me in their reindeer games! Thank... God! I think if one of them sat their 'satchel' on my hand, I'd die a thousand deaths! Ack!

Posted by: Bou at March 2, 2006 08:56 PM

Bou, it's amazing how guys will leave you alone if they are simply aware of the fact that you carry a switchblade & have helped castrate animals. ;-)

Posted by: LadyGunn at March 3, 2006 02:00 AM

If bathroom blogging wasn't enough now your reviewing porn movies?

Posted by: Machelle at March 3, 2006 07:03 AM

My buddies at the apartment complex I lived at had a nasty habit of throwing firecrackers under your feet, under your chair (indoors). So one time a bunch of them were all out on a balcony. I climbed onto the roof and firebombed them with firecrackers from above. Good times.

Posted by: Jerry at March 3, 2006 08:05 AM

Damn. They SO stole that from us! In late '87 we played that damn exact game while deployed. It got so bad that everyone started walking around with their hands held flat just below their nose so you couldn't be accused at looking anywhere below the belt.

Posted by: Ogre at March 3, 2006 10:19 AM

While there really aren't any games that my girl friends and I play I do have a group of 5-6 guy friends who do a variety of games like you mentioned. I am the one who is usually holding their beer while they go around dropping their "boys" on an unsuspecting pal's head. This same group of guys have a very nice photo of all of them. The picture looks great until you look below the waist, then you notice their boys all hanging out saying 'hi'.

Posted by: azindiandoll71 at March 3, 2006 03:14 PM

Just the usual stuff... get a posse together, single a brother out, Saran Wrap, Duct Tape, and into the dumpster he goes.

One of them became a semi famous wrestler so it was probably for the best of all concerned.

Posted by: RSM at March 3, 2006 04:21 PM

We'd just make a circle with our thumb and finger, if someone looked at it, we'd punch them as hard as we could.

Posted by: Contagion at March 3, 2006 04:46 PM

Guess it was called "Chicken". Forearm-to forearm, resting on a horizontal surface with a lit cigarette wedged betwixt. Burns down, first guy to move is the chicken. Have never had a blister that big before.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at March 5, 2006 02:54 PM

Being a chick has never been so appealing than right now.

I remember when I was a Senior in high school, being courted by the Army recruiter. He used to throw parties for his candidates (I can't for the life of me remember the term he used to call them by). One of their favorite games was similar to Toluca's. They used to take a dollar bill (or a five, or whatever), and hold it tight over someone's forearm. Someone else would hold a lit cigarette to the face of the bill. If you could hold your arm there "until George's nose turned brown", you got to keep the bill.

Thing is... when you're holding a lit cig to a dollar bill, it never browns. Hold it ABOVE the bill, and it will turn brown- but hold it ON the bill, and it just burns right through. Every time.

What a nasty, nasty smell. Ick. Stupid boys.

Posted by: AFSister at March 5, 2006 06:29 PM

I heard this one at a parenting seminar. The featured speaker used to play this game.

Dart Tag.
Get a bunch of your idiot friends together in the basement. Turn off the lights. Throw darts at each other (and not the safety rubber tipped ones either- REAL darts). Get hit? You're out.
One time one of the guys got hit about 1/2 inch from his eye. Instead of deciding the game was too dangerous to play... they just played with sunglasses on from then on.


I say again... STUPID BOYS!
(I shudder to think about all the Stupid Human Tricks my boys will come up with)

Posted by: AFSister at March 5, 2006 06:32 PM

Heh. Now I remember why I played college football, wrestled, and was an officer.

*Nobody* dicked with me this way.

And the one time some drunks challenged me as duty officer.

Troops in Hospital = 3
Officers in Hospital = 0

I'm mostly with you on this one, Jarhead. I don't play "The Game".

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at March 5, 2006 07:31 PM


Well, what I remember most was being "blood-pinned" by my fellow aviator types when I got my Navy Aircrew wings. They pin them on you in front of the squadron, at a regular formation, and all that stuff... the real ceremony takes place later.

One of your shipmates (who must also have his wings) removes yours from your uniform, removes the clutchbacks from the pin points, and then replaces the wings on your shirt. Each of them can then step forward and "pin" them onto you with a good sharp punch. After the first 3 or 4 it goes numb and doesn't hurt anymore.... I still have 2 little bluish tattoo marke where the pins went in.

A similar game was played when a Petty Officer got promoted. The Navy rank/rate badge worn on the sleeve is universally referred to as a "Crow", and tacking on the Crow was a traditional game. Each fellow Petty Officer of equal of higher rank gets to step up, place one hand supportingly behind your upper arm where the new Crow is sewn on, and "tack" it onto you with a good swift punch. Again, it only hurts for the first couple.. until the next day, that is.. sigh ..

The nice thing about being promoted, though, was it decreased the number of folks who could legitimately tack your new Crow on.



Posted by: Gwedd at March 6, 2006 08:03 AM

Yeah, I got my crow tacked on.

From what I've *heard* (since I got out at E-5), making Chief (E-7) brought with it an initiation that was only spoken of in whispers and rumors.

Posted by: Harvey at March 8, 2006 06:38 AM