November 28, 2005

Rain, Roofs, and Bre'fus

One of the things I've been asking the landlord about, since I moved in five years ago, was installing a rain gutter over my door. The roof slants that way, and in a downpour, you're walking through a sheet of water. Even in a light rain, the water has a way of finding it's way down your neck... and in a November rain, that sucks. I won't even begin to describe fumbling drunkenly with your keys on a rainy November night...

Anyway, I took my car to the garage today to have some work done, and, since it's only three blocks away, I refused the offerred ride home. I stopped by the gas station and picked up a healthy breakfast of taquitos, and made my way home. Glancing at the sky, I knew I better hurry. It's been raining off and on this morning.

I managed to avoid most of the rain... it was a light sprinkle by the time I hit the back door. But I had locked the door out of habit, so I was stuck trying to locate my house key. Hah... I got my key and unlocked the door, just in time to feel a stream of water hit my hand. Actually, it hit my hand after running over my taquito.

I was a little pissed... I mean, it's been five years of asking, sure, I guess that's good enough reason to be upset. But my taquito getting soaked... with water that's been running over a surface where birds shit, and nasty ass squirrels frolic, not to mention the gallons of bee killer I've used. That's enough to ruin a day. Then I started thinking about how many times I had brushed sand and dirt off of grub as a Marine. Hey, food is food until you don't eat it. That's when it becomes trash.

So I cowboyed up, forced the visions of piles of starling dropping's and diseased squirrels from my mind, and finished off the ruined taquito. I couldn't taste anything out of the ordinary, but just to be sure, I rinsed my mouth out with a mouthful of bourbon, and chased it with a coke. Hoping to insure total safety, I repeated the process.

Wow... now that's a breakfast! I can't go job hunting today, but it wasn't a bad way to get rolling.

Posted by That 1 Guy at November 28, 2005 11:45 AM

T1G, you don't cook, do you?

Posted by: Ragingmom at November 28, 2005 12:44 PM

LOL... Nothing says yummy like gritty soaked taquitto.

Posted by: Contagion at November 28, 2005 03:17 PM

Holy Crap. I think I might vomit...

Posted by: Bou at November 28, 2005 09:16 PM

No sweat, T1G, bourbon is one of the most highly regarded universal medication groups. Since you took the meds promptly, they will nip any potential maladies in the bud.

The only immediate side effect you may encounter is the observation of a welcome and pleasant glow that will infuse itself with the day to come.

Posted by: Seth at November 29, 2005 06:03 AM

I probably should have followed your example after the place I got lunch at forgot my order and then blamed me for not getting it. Who knows that they did to that food... but I'm not dead yet, so it couldn't have been that bad...

Posted by: Princess Cat at November 29, 2005 09:53 PM

I wouldv'e been too peeved at the whole wetness thing to eat the silly thing myself, but I'm spoiled - what can I say? ;-)

Glad to know that you self-medicated just in case though!

Posted by: Barb at November 29, 2005 10:11 PM