November 21, 2005


My cousin sent me this. A man and woman are asked to write a poem expressing what they desire in a mate. Here's the finished product.


I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, he not be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind,
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want that this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs,
Who owns a liquor store,
And a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Personally, I think that dude is nuts... a Road Glide. Custom paint, tour pack, some real exhaust... yeah, that's what you want her to own in addition to the liquor store.

Posted by That 1 Guy at November 21, 2005 12:49 PM

sending this to Dear Husband....very funny

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at November 21, 2005 12:58 PM

And this is why everytime the idea of maybe talking to you about one of my younger single friends flits through my mind, I squash it like a bug.

Posted by: Marty at November 21, 2005 01:24 PM

Awww... c'mon. You know that just hurt me.

One second I'm a sweetheart, and then...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 21, 2005 01:28 PM

Damn it! I knew this would happen. I get this flippin' keyboard to work and I can't remember my smartassed comment. Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn!

Posted by: Tammi at November 21, 2005 10:26 PM

Tammi? It doesn't count as a rhyme when you use the same word over and over...

Posted by: Ogre at November 22, 2005 10:31 AM

I thought it was something about women that were no taller than waist high, fold back teeth and a flat head to rest a beer. That doesn't rhyme either, but I thought that was part of a man's ultimate woman poem somewhere...

Posted by: Bou at November 22, 2005 07:27 PM