A Fool And His Money

I really love hate going to book stores. There is something evil about these places. Your hard earned cash just seems to disappear. Not in front of your eyes; no, it's like there is some kind of hidden vacuum and it needs to remove your money from you. Before you know it, nothing. Wallet empty, go home with your great bag of books!

A simple trip to Barnes and Noble today leaves me broke. Oh, don't tell me I haven't any discipline! There are dark and evil forces at work in that place! It isn't my fault at all!

I needed to buy a couple of reference books for fantasy football. Our draft is on Sunday, and I wanted to check out some of the cheat sheets that are included in these magazines. Two magazines. Two. Maybe fourteen dollars tops. Maybe. Fantasy Football Index and Sporting News Fantasy Football. That's it. But when you enter the doors, you feel the evil pull at you. You hear the music overhead, and you swear that it's "Ave Satani" from "The Omen", only the lyrics are different. No latin, just something like this;
"Hey, you
buy more books
yes, you
should buy more books
not just two
that's not enough
you should buy the new
Sandford
and Koontz!"
sanguis minimus
corpus animus... sorry, I don't know what came over me! I tole yu, EVIL!!

Unfortunately, I had to walk past the new Sandford novel, "Hidden Prey." If you've never read this guy, you need to, simply because I. Said. So. The guy is an awesome writer, and his main character, Lucas Davenport, is a believable one.

"And Koontz!"

Alright, already. Koontz, yes, I'll buy the newest Koontz. Damnit, yes, I shall buy it. "The Taking." It's now mine.

"Good Omens"

Funny stuff, lots of great lines, yes..... er, no. No, I will not buy this great book which I should buy because it is so damn good! Aaaaaaaaaaah, make it stop!!!!

At this point I am running for the cashier. And I mean this in an almost literal way. When I get into a book store, it's hard to remove myself! I get to the counter, (picking up a new thesaurus on the way) and the evil demoness behind the register smiles and takes her time ringing me out. So long, that I impatiently start looking around. And what do I see? "The DaVinci Code," by Dan Brown, and, hey, it's 30 percent off! No, I didn't buy it, but it was hard not to. I've had numerous people tell me that I have to check it out! There's the discipline my friends!!! This took place in less than 15 minutes. Not hours of battling evil, just a few minutes. Hopefully, this was the last trip to the book shop that I'll have to make for awhile. I find it harder and harder to resist the damn call to buy more books!

Posted by That 1 Guy at August 22, 2004 01:11 AM | TrackBack