December 03, 2004

A Strange Tale

Hey, there all you boys and girls! Just thought I'd tell you about a visit I had just a few minutes ago.

I'm sitting here reading my blogroll, and thinking that I really need to add a few more (some of these have just cracked me up lately, and I need it), when I hear a rattle at the back door. I know I locked the damn thing, but suddenly I hear a snap, and a cold breezed blows in. Felt just like icy fingers. There's a bit of silence, and of course the damn breeze, and then the door slams shut. By now, I'm freaking out, and I realize that that I'm standing there in my shorts holding an empty beer bottle by the neck. The picture of brave. I cautiously approach the kitchen, when a black shape flies out of the darkness, making the most god-awful noise I've ever heard! I about filled my drawers, but then I realized it was just Evil Glenn. And he was wretching.

EG: What is that smell?
T1G: As if you didn't know.
EG: No, seriously! Did you start a cheese shop, featuring only Limburger?
T1G: First post (now second) on my blog ring a bell?
EG: Wha?? Do you mind if I use your computer for a second?
T1G: Go ahead.

The evil one brings up my blog, reads, slowly grinning at first, and then just busting up by the time he hits the end.

EG: I wish that I were here to see that!
T1G: Me discovering the rancid milk?
EG: What are you ..... I'm talking about how drunk you were! I bet you looked like a crosseyed chimp, banging away on that keyboard! I should change my "quote" at the top of your sidebar! Heh. Drunken Chimpsdumb!
T1G: I want to know about the freakin stinky ass milk! Are you the one responsible for that?
EG: Oh, drunken idjut... heheheh. I am not familiar with the offensive cow squeezings. I wish I were, but I'm not. However, if you don't discover who did it, feel free to offer up credit to me.

By now, I'm starting to return to my normal, lately cranky, self.

T1G: What the hell are you doing here, if not to check on the effects of the nasty milk bomb?
EG: Ah, miserable sot, I'm here to see what's the matter with you. You haven't posted much in a while. No lies, nothing. What seems to be the problem, Chimpy? (snicker)
T1G: Actually, it's a great collection of little things going wrong all at the s .....
EG: OH, YES! I forgot to mention the other reason I'm in the area. Check it, yo; A HOBO DINNER! I saw this, and there was no way that I was going to miss this! Oh, sorry to interrupt. Carry on, I'll stop monkeying around! HEHEHEH!
T1G: (not finding humor in this visit) Anyway, it seems that I can .....
EG: (starting to do a strange moonwalking robot dance, and mumbling to himself in a singsong voice) Hobos! 'Tis my lucky day. Hobos! Take their souls suffering away! Errrrr.... sorry about that, Cheetah. snk.snk. snk.BAHAHAHAHA!!!!
T1G: (fully pissed now) Ok, Reynolds, that's about enough of that! If you won't ....
EG: Hobos au gratin, hobo hams, hobo ...... Gah, sorry, oh sauced simian! HahaHAAAACCK! Let me go you big ape! (Even in the face of death, and he looks pissed, I slay myself!)
T1G: I told you that was enough! But no, you refuse to lay off. If you can't tell, I'm not my normal cheery self, so I'm not going to act that way. You, my penguin poking friend, are leaving.
EG: Ok, no prob. I'll just ape my way to the .... SMAAAAAAAASH! (now sprawled out in the snow beneath the window) What?! You broke your window!?
T1G: To be rid of you, it's worth it!
EG: Very well, then, I'll be off. But if you thought I was annoying on this visit, I'm here to tell you: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN', .... YETI!!!

As he ran away, you could hear him giggling like an idiot. Sure, it's cold in here now without the window, but it's not much else to worry about. Things should start looking up.

Posted by That 1 Guy at December 3, 2004 02:18 AM | TrackBack