Home Alone, Part IV...

... you guys have no idea how much I like bacon... seriously.. those Bacon Whores rock... bacon and Schlitz, children, the ultimate comfort food..

.. anyway, sorry about the silence... the truth be known, I have been totally without words.. see, I had finally managed (after her 14th visit) to get Tabitha the Bacon Whore to let me show her around T1G's pad... I know, I know, trying to get into a "Bacon Whore's" pants might seem beneath me, but listen... she was every man's dream... gorgeous brown hair.. blue eyes... ubersexy short-shorts... tight tee-shirt... AND she knows how to cook the bejesus outta some bacon... I simply could not resist..

... well, as luck would have it, the first thing she noticed when I finally got her into T1G's bedroom was a dainty little flower-covered book resting on one of the pillows... I hadn't seen it before since I nearly always pass out fall gently asleep on the beanbags... but, there it was.. T1G's diary...

... as I was busting my move, Tabitha picked it up the diary, let out a soft *sigh*, cooed "This is soooo cute!", and read the inscription....

Dear Boobie, may this journal be your safe place, your refuge. The times we have spent riding hogs together are so very, very dear to me. You simply have no idea.

Write, dear friend, write whatever your beautiful heart desires. After all, our desires are what define us.

Your faithful, hog riding pal,

Roger

... needless to say, the bleeding has mostly stopped now... I had no idea that the binding of a book could do so much damage when flung with purpose.. Lord knows, my eyebrow will never be the same... evidently, people in Illinois have multiple definitions of "hog riding".. well, at least Tabitha did...

... anyway, I have spent the last day or so wading through T1G's diary... mercy... the guy we have all come to know and love has some issues, people...

Posted by That 1 Guy at March 7, 2005 07:54 AM | TrackBack