February 18, 2007


He saw the quick flash of movement, but had no time to react before he was rocked with a horrific impact. As lights exploded inside his head, his mouth was filled with tooth fragments and the taste of smoke.

He blindly turned to run, but turned directly into his attacker. A second explosion rocked him, this time the smokey taste replaced by the salty flow of blood... and lots of it. His tongue could feel the stumps of teeth as he ran it over them, and the exposed nerves screamed as he did so. "If I can just make it to the door," he thought, but as he stumbled towards it, a paw swipe connected with the back of his head, and he dropped to the ground.

Rolling into a ball for protection, he looked up in horror as the beast charged him. He felt himself lifted into the air and slammed repeatedly into the ground and walls . "Play dead!!!" his mind screamed. He let himself go limp, and the attack stopped.

He lay there for several minutes before slowly lifting his head. He stopped as he saw the animal sitting in his chair, legs crossed and feet up, grinning at him. "Did you learn something, boy?"

"Wha? Why'ths you beaths me?"

The grin slid from my face...

Lesson... do not ask for metric bolts in such ways: "I need a 10mm bolt, an inch and a half long" or "I need a metric bolt, about 1/4 inch by 2 1/2 inches." These are not metric measurements, and are primer for a major explosion.

Nobody was actually hurt in the writing of this lesson. Had these events really happened, I would not have be moronic enough to write of it.

Posted by That 1 Guy at February 18, 2007 10:04 AM | TrackBack

Shoot, for a second there I thought we were getting another "NyQuil" post.......

Posted by: Tammi at February 18, 2007 10:21 AM

oh my... bad day?
I stopped by expecting a post about the race...:)

Posted by: Jean at February 18, 2007 12:18 PM

So you're saying a career in customer service might not be the best choice?

Hide the NyQuil - you definitely don't need any... ;-)

Posted by: Richmond at February 18, 2007 03:21 PM


Posted by: Elisson at February 18, 2007 03:32 PM

Goodness! I think you need a vacation!

Posted by: drc at February 19, 2007 10:33 AM


The man practically lives in Flordia!!!! :)

Posted by: BloodSpite at February 20, 2007 07:35 AM

Damn, I thought someone may have finally got around to teaching you that lesson I've been warning you about. Glad that wasn't the case.

but can I get a 1/4 inch bolt 10 centimeters long?

Posted by: Contagion at February 20, 2007 06:00 PM

That is so heavy, and that's all I can say, because I just don't know what else.

Posted by: Erica at February 20, 2007 06:42 PM

someone is on crack!

Posted by: leggerman at February 20, 2007 06:44 PM