January 30, 2007


This past weekend, I was supposed to go with the cousin in law to a local event thrown by the natives. But alas, it was "too cold" for us to take the boat up to Tampa for the festivities. I had thought to put myself in harm's way, just for you folks, but it was not to be.

The event? The Gasparilla invasion. Since 1904, locals have celebrated their defeat of a giant pirate who rose from the depths of the bay and threatened to stomp their little village into dust. Woken from his slumber by the natives spilling gallons of mojitos into the waters, Gasparilla (once simply Jose Gaspar) stood 55 meters tall, and weighed in at 25,000 metric tons. He wiped out nearly half of the village before villagers finally defeated him, sending him back to the depths.

How did they defeat this giant? Drunk from the mojitos, Gasparilla was already a bit tipsy. But, as with many of us, tipsy equals horny. So the native women flashed their breasts at him, luring him back towards the bay, and once there, the menfolk tossed thousands upon thousands of beads on the ground. Gasparilla lost his footing upon the beads, and toppled face first into the bay, where, unable to lift himself up, he drowned.

Boobs, beads, beer, and mojitos are part of the celebrations to this day.

Okay... so that's not the real story, but it does sound better than celebrating a buccaneer, Jose Gaspar, that probably never existed.

Posted by That 1 Guy at January 30, 2007 08:11 AM | TrackBack

Hey. Watch it buddy. I don't f*ck with your holidays. Not f*ck with mine!!!!!

;-) It about killed me this weekend at the airport. Our terminal was right next to the one for Tampa/St Pete. Knowing it was Gasparilla made it even tougher.....

Posted by: Tammi at January 30, 2007 08:16 AM

Mmmmmm.... Mojitos. I like 'em. :-)

Posted by: Richmond at January 30, 2007 09:16 AM

I like your holidays better, Joe.

Posted by: zonker at January 30, 2007 10:20 AM

Man, I gotta get around more. That sounds EXACTLY like a holiday would enjoy. Mojitos, beer, boobs,mmmmmmmm.

Posted by: ralphd00d at January 30, 2007 12:48 PM

how much booze do people have to consume, to show they're consumables?

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at January 30, 2007 01:01 PM

If you're holiday was real, I'd be at the re-enactment for it every year... EVERY YEAR.

Posted by: at January 30, 2007 06:11 PM

That last comment was from me, for some reason it deleted my info.

Posted by: Contagion at January 30, 2007 06:11 PM

I had a run-in with some sasparilla which was scary enough for me.

Posted by: triticale at February 1, 2007 10:54 PM