Gasparilla

This past weekend, I was supposed to go with the cousin in law to a local event thrown by the natives. But alas, it was "too cold" for us to take the boat up to Tampa for the festivities. I had thought to put myself in harm's way, just for you folks, but it was not to be.

The event? The Gasparilla invasion. Since 1904, locals have celebrated their defeat of a giant pirate who rose from the depths of the bay and threatened to stomp their little village into dust. Woken from his slumber by the natives spilling gallons of mojitos into the waters, Gasparilla (once simply Jose Gaspar) stood 55 meters tall, and weighed in at 25,000 metric tons. He wiped out nearly half of the village before villagers finally defeated him, sending him back to the depths.

How did they defeat this giant? Drunk from the mojitos, Gasparilla was already a bit tipsy. But, as with many of us, tipsy equals horny. So the native women flashed their breasts at him, luring him back towards the bay, and once there, the menfolk tossed thousands upon thousands of beads on the ground. Gasparilla lost his footing upon the beads, and toppled face first into the bay, where, unable to lift himself up, he drowned.

Boobs, beads, beer, and mojitos are part of the celebrations to this day.

Okay... so that's not the real story, but it does sound better than celebrating a buccaneer, Jose Gaspar, that probably never existed.

Posted by That 1 Guy at January 30, 2007 08:11 AM | TrackBack