Yoga

Put Eric and myself in a room, add beer and/or scotch, and you will walk away impressed with the indispensible knowledge you will encounter. Epiphanies and revelations abound, making Saul on the road to Damascus seem like a mere child discovering that there really isn't a Santa Claus. Heavy shit, indeed. And amidst our discussions, we discovered the truth about yoga...

Yoga originated somewhen around 3000 BC, which could have meant "Before Camels", in India. History books won't tell you this, but you can trust us... it was developed as a way to stretch so that one may ride an elephant with minimal crotch wreckage. Until this time, elephant riders had been horribly deformed bastards, ruined from the stretch across the animal's girth, many unable to have chiltrens. Now look... India has an overpopulation problem, thanks to this stretching system.

The original poses, or asanas, were named after contortions made while mounting, or, in some cases, hurried dismounting of the animal. "Running dismount into briar patch" was a common favorite. However, over time, experienced riders began to base their poses on some of the human roadkill found alongside the elephant trails. There were many interesting displays... Yoga is from a Sanskrit word meaning "to yoke, or unite," and this uniting of body and earth was the basis for the newest asanas. Imitation of roadkill... now you know. Check these out, if you don't believe me.

Yes, yoga was the original Dead Body Guy, and few know this... but now you can say that you do.

Posted by That 1 Guy at March 16, 2006 10:53 AM