RR Blogging

WARNING: While this post is typical of me, it isn't typical of this blog. It coud be a bit TMI for some...

I shouldna oughta done it, but I finally gave in, and picked myself up a laptop. Just a basic machine, nothing fancy. I kid myself and say that if I end up getting a field service type-job, I'll need the machine for typing and sending reports. What a joke... it's probably going to be used for blogging more than anything else. I think we all know that.

I was reading the other day about how mobile computers are changing the way and where of business. Folks are taking their laptops into the shitter with them so they lose no time at all. Multi-tasking as it were. I'd provide a link, but as of right now, I'm not exactly in the best spot to get a signal. See, I decided to put this new toy to the test... you, my friends, are essentially sitting in the can with me while I'm shitting and typing. Have a seat on the edge of the tub, and we'll check this out together.

Whoa... hang on... here's a signal! Cool... now maybe I can find that link. Crap... the signal's locked. Okay, we'll stick to the typing and other for right now.

Holy crap, that was a nasty fart! Can you smell it? Those au gratin taters ain't smelling so tasty today, but that could be because of the combination of all the other things I et. Heheheh... I won't go into great detail, but I promise not to flush until you can check it out and take a guess as to what chow yesterday was.

Alright... despite all the fiber I had yesterday, things aren't moving along too well. I don't know if it's a bit of stage fright, trying to pinch one off in front of you folks, or what, but trying to push with this computer on my lap ain't working very well. Hold on...

Okay, that tears it. Trying to rock a turd out and still keep the damn laptop open is an exercise in futility... the damn thing's going on the floor until I'm done. I will keep my promise, and let you check it out when I'm done, though.

Turn your head while I take care of the paperwork, would ya? Thanks. Modesty you know.

Looking at the finished products, I'd have to say that both the post, and the fecal masterpiece stink. But at least the bowlful has color... the corn stands out well against the dark blue of the Powerade. So take a look, if you wish, and guess what all I had yesterday...

As far as the post, or working with a laptop while you're taking a crap, I'm thinking that all you're going to end up with is crap. Quite literally and figuratively. I'm not a guy who can sit on the can for long periods of time. You crap and go. The stench of a nasty dump cannot be conducive to clear thinking, and the longer you wallow in it, the more clouded your thinking is going to be.

And unless they start putting laptop trays in the shitter... hey... it's my idea, and it's patented... back off... it's a little too awkward. At least, that's my experience. I'm not going to risk trashing my laptop, just so that ...n Smith can get those quotes emailed to him while I'm baking brownies. What's three minutes?

My fellow patrons, I'm sorry if this post disappointed you, or perhaps put you in a place you'd rather not be, but hey, you clicked on the extended entry. I will guarantee you, however, that this is the last post I will type while on the throne of this pub. See, the stench and awkwardness are but a small part of what bugs me. I'm a bit of a techno tard, so I'm not exactly sure about how all this wireless stuff works, but I do have one consideration that has me very reluctant to do this again.

Fried cajones. I'm afraid that my nuts are going to be hard boiled by deadly wireless rays, stupid as that sounds.

Posted by That 1 Guy at February 23, 2006 11:47 AM