Bodies As Pranks

I was reading over at Samantha Burns' the other day, and she pointed to a dude who plays dead. He's taken pictures of himself as a dead body, in different positions of death, and displayed them on his web site, Dead Body Guy. One of the pics is of him trapped under his garage door... it reminded me of the "body" we had hanging around our shop for a while.

One of the shippers was walking by a dumpster one day, and noticed part of a leg sticking out from under some of the garbage. Further investigation revealed a whole body. Not knowing what to do, he started asking around. One of the guys from our floor was down in the area, and took charge of the thing, bringing it back up to the bay. What a blast...

First, one of the guys who was built similarly started talking very loudly about how he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, how tired he was, how he could just pass out. Meanwhile, some of us were dressing the body in some of his spare workclothes. When we finished, and the foreman left the bay, we put it just inside of a large roll shell. Then we went back to our various stations and resumed our jobs.

After few minutes, the foreman came back in, glanced at the shell, and went to his desk. As he started going over some of his paperwork, he kept glancing over at the legs just protruding from the end of the shell. Finally, he got up, walked over, and started talking to "Mike." Soon, he was yelling, and then finally, he drew back and kicked him. He went pale when he saw that it wasn't Mike... and then he turned on us, who were all rolling about the floor. He did eventually laugh, but it took him a long time to see the humour in it.

The body was stashed in an unused freight elevator until we could use it again. It wasn't long... a few days later, the yard crew were moving some large crates around when they found the body sticking out from under one of the crates, a large pool of "blood" spread around it's side. Funny how glyptal lacquer (a sealer used between gearcase halves and on shims and bearing covers) looks like drying blood. Especially on the snow. The yard crew wasn't too happy...

Body was again stashed and brought out about a week later.

We broke the legs, and placed the body in one of the stalls in one of the very quiet restrooms. The door was locked, and stall exited. Over the wall.

One of the old timers used to hit the can just before shift start. He'd spend about fifteen minutes in there, reading the newspaper. An hour later, he'd do the same. He kept this up until he was finished with the paper... usually about four trips. After his third trip, he came back to his workbench and got a couple of guys to go and check it out. He was freaking...

He said he noticed that the guy had been in there for at least three hours, and he was pretty sure that he wasn't just sleeping... Paper Reader had been banging on the stall wall, and shouting, "Hey, buddy!!! You alright in there? Do you need help?" When he and his entourage arrived, one of them popped his head over the wall, and busted out laughing. The door was kicked in so that all could see, and most of them got a good laugh. A few didn't, and the body was removed and properly disposed of.

Ah, the fun a group of guys can have when they discover a mannequin in the trash!

Posted by That 1 Guy at February 1, 2006 01:51 PM