January 16, 2006

For Bou

I was reading over at blog-sis Boudicca's, and ended up laughing so hard that I had tears forming in my eyes. It's not just because of her boys' testing the safety features of underwear, or her reaction to it. The mental picture of her youngest suiting up for the testing had me in stitches...

About a week ago, she posted about her boys throwing rocks at each other. I thought to ease her fears, and tell her some of the stories of us growing up. Then I realized that I would only be adding to her terror. However, they are only doing typical guy things... so I'll mention a couple of things. Not to increase her worries, but so that she knows they are only "normal."

That rock thing? Yeah, we did that. Dirt clods, especially when attached to a corn stalk, mud, sticks, and rocks were all thrown without intention of killing. Sometimes a sharpened implement might be thrown in anger... I remember an incident where I pissed off The Perfect One, and he launched a hatchet at me. I'd like to say that it was my cat-like reflexes that kept me safe, but I was running in the other direction when it sailed past my head.

The rock thing did get a little out of hand when we started playing baseball with a large plastic baseball bat and larger pieces of gravel. Yes, we were warned about rocks and pain, but it's only a suggestion until an incident occurs. Well, I caught a rock with the top of my head... I had bent over to pick up another rock after I pitched, and the line drive took me dead center in the skull. After what seemed like a couple of gallons of blood lost, and about an hour of getting yelled at, we moved our baseball game to the back of the barnyard, and out of sight of Ma. Heheheh... we weren't stupid, I'll tell you that. :)

The Perfect One and I used to play catch all of the time. He's not the most athletic guy, so occasionally he'd get hit with the ball. After a couple of times of that, it was damn funny, I'd start throwing at him, instead of to him. Next thing you know, he was returning the favor, and we'd be whipping the ball at each other as hard as we could, getting closer and closer, trying to catch or block the ball with our gloves. It was a blast.

We fancied ourselves fit for the circus, so we also played catch with knives. Relax... we were smart about it. We didn't use pocketknives or anything small. You just can't pick up their spin when you're trying to catch them. The Perfect One had a nice 8" Buck knife that we used for catch. Much easier, and if it was lined up wrong, we'd simply step to the side. We did this for quite a while, until one day The Perfect One didn't quite catch it, and got stuck in the foot. Of course, we didn't tell Ma, but we did stop. Thank Gott he was wearing leather boots, and the blade caught the thick leather alongside the tongue. We probably would have had a hard time sitting down in addition to his limp.

I've got a couple more stories for Bou, regarding her latest incident, but I'll tell them at another time. Hope this helps out... somehow.

Posted by That 1 Guy at January 16, 2006 10:42 AM

Ack! Say it isn't so!!! KNIVES?! Hatchets?!

Holy shit. I'm dyin' over here...

Posted by: Bou at January 16, 2006 10:47 AM

Uh... so I'm taking it that you didn't find any comfort in this post. Oooops.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at January 16, 2006 10:49 AM

Knowing you were raised on a farm, too, I'm surprized you haven't done a post on 5 creative uses for a pitch fork.

Posted by: Raging Mom at January 16, 2006 11:02 AM

Reminds me of the times we'd play "war" with pellet rifles.

Not to mention the bottle rocket wars we used to have.

Good times.

Posted by: phin at January 16, 2006 11:37 AM

We played Cowboys and Indians with BB guns.

Since we knew that you could put your eye out with them, we'd close our eyes when being shot at...

Posted by: Ogre at January 16, 2006 11:39 AM

Once again I am glad I have girls. For now, anyway... I'm sure when they are 16 I'll be in a flat panic!

Posted by: Richmond at January 16, 2006 12:18 PM

.. hit in the head with a rock when you were formative, right?... man, that sure explains a lot...

Posted by: Eric at January 16, 2006 02:15 PM

Dirt clods, some rocks, and thank you Phin, the bottle rockets. Those were when I was older, and you can use any tube from tampon tubes to wrapping paper rolls to aim them. I also figured out how to stage them, like a Saturn 5, but instead of going up you can work them to stage and drop. Not saying any every did that over to where anyone might have been hiding behind a building or other tall object...

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at January 16, 2006 06:35 PM


And I'm horrified with LW and this whole tampon tube thing. Thank God I've kept all that from my boys. Ack!

Posted by: Bou at January 16, 2006 10:15 PM

This is normal behaviour. I did all that as well.

Posted by: Contagion at January 17, 2006 07:39 AM