The Start of The Holidays

Long ago, right around this time of year (give or take a month or twelve), a married couple made their way into Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Unfortunately for them, there was a huge convention in town, and all of the hotels were full up. One of the managers allowed them to stay in the barn behind his inn. This was probably a good thing, as the woman, Mary, was preggers, and about to pop.

How she got in that condition, is another story, altogether. She was a Virginian, and apparently that makes it hard for one to become pregnant. I don't know how, but it's fact.

Back to the story, when the couple had made their way into the barn, and were bedding down for the night, there was a tremendous crash. In their time, they believed that the sky had fallen. We know today that a huge meteor had smashed down, sending dust, debris, and small animals into the sky. It would be a little over a week before the sun was visible again.

In the meantime, Joe, the guy, pulled out his flashlamp. Murphy's Law in action, he had only fuel enough for 1 day. However, his lamp continued to burn for 8 days... a true miracle.

While they were hunkered down in the barn, displaced bands of Sleestacks were prowling the streets. With their keen sense of smell, the locals were fearful of attracting their attention, so they refused to eat during the day. At night, when the Sleestacks had returned to their caves, the people feasted with their newfound friends, Ta, Sa, and Cha-ka. This continued for forty days, until the Sleestacks were able to return to their Lost Land.

During all of this, Mary gave birth to a little boy, who she wrapped in a blanket, and lay to rest in a manger. He was the son of Gott, a fact made immediately clear when the first piece of hay jabbed into his newborn skin... suddenly, there was a brand spanking new hotel in the barn's place, and a huge Wallmort alongside for convenient shopping. A large man was standing outside, ringing a bell, and stuffing his face.

It was quite the event, and though people have taken different things to remember and celebrate, it's still remembered and cherished to this day.

"Merry Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Ramadan, or Kwanzaa" to all of you.

Posted by That 1 Guy at December 24, 2005 09:51 AM