December 05, 2005

Needing A Sales Job

Below is a rough copy of my resume. Please read it, and then answer my question at the end. Thanks.

That 1 Guy
That 1 PO Box
Stillman Valley, IL 61084
Phone: 555-555-5555

Purpose: A secure position that will utilize my problem solving strengths as well as my mechanical attributes.

The Big Blue Weenie. - Rockford, IL 04/00 - 09/05
(Deleted Because of friends still in employ)

Hand grind tooling
Set coiling machines for runs
Blue print reading
Member of the Advisory Committee.

USMC 12/91 - 01/94
Mortar Man
Vehicle Commander
FDC Chief

Utilized a transit (optical instrument for sighting mortar gun line)
Leadership qualities furthered developed
Honorably discharged at an E3 rank. (Lance Corporal)

Beloit Corporation -Beloit, WI 01/88 - 12/91; 01/94-07/99
Assembly Mechanic

Blue Print reading
Cleaning, deburring and assembly of paper manufacturing machinery
Set tolerances for reinstallation
Extensive travel to meet job deadlines
Set bearings
Built/rebuilt gear cases and differential cases
Worked according to specs to insure proper manufacturing
Rebuild and reinstall of existing machines, with new installation when necessary

A Small Christian School
- Beloit Wisconsin - graduated 1985
Continuing Education:
Blackhawk Technical Institute
: Shop Math, Blue Print Reading
Rock Valley Community College: Basic Welding, Set up and Operation of Manual Mills, Set up and Operation of CNC Mills, Set up and Operation of both Manual Lathes, Set up and Operation of CNC Lathes, Maint & Troubleshooting, CNC Programming

Skills and Traits
Good computer skills, print reading, strong self motivation, loyal, highly organized. Take pride in quality product. Strong attention to detail. Good work ethic.

References available upon request.

So you've read it...

Please tell me, where does it say anything about sales or marketing?

So far, most of the interest generated from my resume has been for sales and/or marketing postions. I've even had a few offers to be a public speaker... WTF???

I'm not the guy you want up in front of people, unless you're planning on laughing alot... and it ain't because of any comedic values. I'm just not good in front of folks.

I'll never figure out how this crap works...

Posted by That 1 Guy at December 5, 2005 04:24 AM

I see the problem. Mortar Men make great sales people - Mortor Men, on the other hand don't.'s as simple as a letter. ;)

Posted by: Tammi at December 5, 2005 06:54 AM

I think it's the fact you worked for Big Blue Weenie. Is it pharmaceutical sales for a product that makes it a smaller pink weenie? (It's a joke! I know you made up the name for your blog.)

Posted by: Bou at December 5, 2005 07:05 AM

During my "summer of Machelle" I got a lot of calls for sales also.

I'm a freaking enginear, not a sales person.

Posted by: Machelle at December 5, 2005 07:57 AM

Oh please.... it is written all over it that you are sales:

Member of Advisory committee
Leadership developed
Extensive travel
Ability to read
Self motivated

Geeze... has sales written all over it. GRIN (** runs and ducks for cover**)

Posted by: vw bug at December 5, 2005 10:18 AM

**throws snow**

Posted by: That 1 Guy at December 5, 2005 10:22 AM

I think it's just your commanding personality and tendancy to talk non-stop for hours. Through in your overly polite tones and your sensible language, there you go.

Actually in this part of the country most of the positions available right now are in sales/marketing.

Posted by: Contagion at December 5, 2005 04:07 PM

I've got to believe that they see in that resume an incredible ability to bullshit just about everyone you've come acrossed, and as we all know, that, my friend, IS the ideal candidate for a sales position. ;)

Posted by: RedNeck at December 5, 2005 06:52 PM

HEY NOW! We sales folks do a lot more than bullshit. Honest. Really we do.

Oh and Contagion? Where the hell are these sales/marketing jobs in this area?? I haven't found any....and yes I am looking!

Posted by: Tammi at December 5, 2005 07:05 PM

Actually, the "sales" positions are all Amway positions...

Posted by: Ogre at December 6, 2005 09:11 AM

Or insurance...

Posted by: Harvey at December 6, 2005 06:41 PM