November 17, 2005

What Really Is Meant...

Demistfying Divas and the Gentlemen's Club ask: "What do women/men say and what do they really mean, and why do men grunt instead of speaking?" Interesting, indeed.

I'll be honest and tell you, I just can't figure out what women mean when they speak. Theirs is a very complex language, full of double and triple meanings... and sometimes (I feel) no meaning. Heheh...

There are nuances in everything said, and this is where many will tell you that communication problems start. You really need to pay attention to a woman when she's speaking, and some feel that guys just aren't willing to do that. I'll tell you... most of us do. It's a matter of interpetation, both of how words are enunciated or screamed at you, and their facial expressions as they are talking to you. For instance:

"I'm fine..." usually means "I'm pissed," although it really can mean that she's fine.

"Sure, go right ahead..." means "If you want to piss me off, you just go ahead and do your selfish act." When used like this, it will be along the lines of "Sure, go ahead... I'll be fine." However, it can also actually mean that she's cool with your plans to go hunting or whatever it is you want to do.

"Be honest with me..." This one depends. It's best to be honest in any dealings, and if she asks you for an honest opinion about something other than herself, she means it. HOWEVER, this is the grass mat covering the punji pit if she follows it up by asking about something personal. Don't lie... don't answer. Run the hell away... no matter how you answer, you've already fallen into the trap. You're stuck my friend.

And, through personal experience, "When we're married" does not guarantee a "Yes" response to a proposal. Heheh... it's funny now. Actually it's very funny now... it just wasn't then.

And guys aren't totally free of meaning something other than what's said. Oh sure, for the most part, you can trust us. Trust me. But everynow and then, we'll manipulate a conversation. How? I can't tell you that... it's a trade secret! Ladies, just watch for vague questions, or answers. And grunts don't count as vague answers.

I've thought about the grunting thing, and didn't really know how to explain it. Until watching my 11/2 year old nephew the other day. Then it all clicked... grunting is a sign of being comfortable with someone.

Layne was talking, saying a few words like dog, cat, mom, dad, and some others. But now, as he's gotten older, he's turned caveman. Mostly grunts and leading folks about by the finger. My cousin's kid did the same thing, only that kid was just a talking machine. He was carrying on conversations at just over a year old, and then, one day, he reverted to grunts. The thing is, everyone knows exactly what they're grunting and pointing about. They no longer feel the need to expend the energy needed for thought and actual speech when a simple grunt will do. (Now I know that people may go off about how to raise a kid so that they don't do this... don't bother. I have not a hatchling, but I do know what not to do. It's just a simple observation and answer to a simple question.)

I think perhaps men do the same thing... as they become comfortable in a relationship, they feel that their partner will know exactly what each grunt and point is supposed to mean. Ladies, don't be put off by this behaviour... it's one of the ultimate compliments. And while you may think that it makes a man sound unintelligent, remember; in these energy conscious times, we are conserving energy. Okay, I realize that it's a little lame... if there ever were to be a machine powered by talking, it most likely wouldn't be fueled by men.


For the Divas' views, check out Sadie, Silk, Kathy, Phoenix, Arielle, and their guest, Ms. Vile.

For the Gents digging holes for themselves, visit da fish, Jamesyboy, Naked Villainy, and Stigmata.

I'll post links as they come about.

Posted by That 1 Guy at November 17, 2005 11:52 AM

Thankfully, you never have to wonder if I mean what I say- just whether I'll remember I even said it!!

Posted by: raging mom at November 17, 2005 02:07 PM

What I say is what I mean... except the 'fine' thing. I am guilty of that, but its because I just don't want to talk about things. If I freely admit I'm pissed, he's going to frickin' pry and if I'm not freely talking about it already, I just don't want to. So 'fine' seems to shut most men up... which is the goal.

Posted by: Bou at November 18, 2005 06:29 AM


Posted by: Ogre at November 18, 2005 09:00 AM

unfortunatly for me...I am not typical here....I seriously say what I am thinking....I am tooo frank and candid for my own good....
I will never say I am "ok" if I am not....
I will add this here, since I have made my husbands "decoding " mission easier, does he think I am any less insane ....


Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at November 18, 2005 09:18 AM