November 04, 2005

Virus via Computer

Stop! Before you come any further, take one of these biohazard suits... Okay, now put it on. Yeah, it won't help if you're just standing there holding it.

So anyway, I wake up this morning, and I feel wrecked. My cranium feels lopsided, throat hurts like I had gargled glass, and my body feels as if it's been "runned over by a damned ol' train." I can't breathe, and I can't focus, but I find out that's just because I'm shaking so bad... whenever the shivers leave, all's cool.

"That's one hell of a hangover" I can hear you saying. If it actually were the reward from a long night of libations, it would be one for the record books. Unfortunately, it can't be. I had only a couple of beers last night... I stopped drinking because I didn't feel well. I fear that I have... caught ill. And I'm blaming this guy for spreading a virus.

I was over at Phin's the other day, and was reading his post on sick blogging. There were no words of warning... I thought he was just venting about how women always seem to question men's toughness when battling illness. No. I made it halfway through the post before I realized that he was sicker than a leper cur with the hydrophobe. I tried to make my exit, but I already felt the beginnings of a slow death. The Reaper and I are having a staredown as I type this.

Before I resume my death throes, I have a couple of requests: play nice as you divide all the loot from my place. You're all big kids... no need to be hogs.

And should you ever catch death, and decide to post about it, please, PLEASE, warn others and give them the opportunity to protect themselves. (Oops, that reminds me, here's a roll of duct tape to patch the holes in the suits... I gott'em kinda cheap.)

See ya on the other side!

Posted by That 1 Guy at November 4, 2005 09:23 AM

I call dibs on all his beer!

Posted by: Ogre at November 4, 2005 10:10 AM

Dibs on guns and ammo! Oh and some sort of a picture thingy so we can set up a memorial. I promise it's not a target.

Posted by: RSM at November 4, 2005 10:39 AM

Man T1G, I sure hope you didn't catch that nasty strain of Herpasyphoria that's running about. I hear it starts with a nose bleed, ut oh.

The good news is the cure involves consuming large amounts of your favorite adult beverage.

The bad news is the cure also involves a threesome including the Victim, Susan Estrich and Andrew Sullivan.

Posted by: phin at November 4, 2005 10:39 AM

Vit. C, E, and zinc. will kill the bugs before they do any damage!!

Posted by: Molly at November 4, 2005 10:41 AM

sick my ass , it is that damn fight club I tell you.....

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at November 4, 2005 11:03 AM

Ack! run for the hills T1G is spreading the ills! Hope you feel better friend, but just in case, I call dibs on the hard liquor since Ogre snatched all the beer!

Posted by: oddybobo at November 4, 2005 11:11 AM

Don't forget the euthanasia. Or is that echanacia? I never can keep the two of them straight...

Hell with the beer, I claim dibs on the distilled products...

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at November 4, 2005 05:28 PM

I got dibs on his shirts...

Posted by: vw bug at November 4, 2005 05:29 PM


Posted by: THE KNUCKLE DRAGGER at November 4, 2005 09:55 PM

Oh now just stop it, all y'all.

T1G, you're not gonna die -- it just feels like you are! Now have some chicken soup and watch football all day.... You'll feel better in no time. (And stay away from the discount Nyquil, Mmmmmkay?

Posted by: Richmond at November 5, 2005 08:26 AM

Probably gave you Mad Fish disease, or the Piscean Flu or something...

Posted by: Harvey at November 5, 2005 10:27 PM