October 13, 2005

Good, or Great?

So sorry this is running late... I've got no good excuse, therefore, I'll just say, "I suck."

I was asked by Phin to participate in this week's Men's Club, where the question is asked: "Do men always have great sex? What about Women? What/who determines 'great sex?' " Damn... while it should be relatively easy to write about, it is... and isn't. It just sounds either too flippant, or too personal. Which, of course, makes it difficult.

When I first read this, I was reminded of a Billy Crystal sketch, I think it was "A mind of it's own," where he mentions that stories of sex vary between the sexes. The guy talking about it says, "She was beggin' for more." She tells her friends, "Oh, he was terrible. I was in bed by...."

Ask any guy what they think of sex, and I guarantee that most will jokingly say that "any sex is great sex." Hell, I've used that joke. But with me, that's all it is... a frickin' joke. Now let me say right here, my experience is rather limited... I'm no man of the world. Yes, yes, I know... I'm a former Marine. I should have provided pleasure for countless lasses, world wide. Sorry to disappoint...

To me personally, great sex isn't just about blowing a nut. Hell, as was pointed out by Sadie, of Fistful of Fortnights, all that takes is the magic of "friction." If that were great sex... uh, nevermind.

Great sex is about an incredible connection, both physically and emotionally. Lovers coming together... okay, bad choice of words, but then again, it's not that far off. Both of them have to be feeling it, and they'll both know that each is feeling it. Usually, this is experienced with a long time partner... these connections won't commonly happen with a fling.

Have I ever experienced it? Well, I don't kiss and tell, but if I did, I'd tell you, "NO." Good sex? Hell, yeah, almost any sex could be considered good sex... But great? 'Tis an event yet to occur!

As far as women? Let me say this... "When Harry Met Sally"... some guys have had some serious doubts ever since. I think that women's chances of having "great" sex are probably less... it's almost natural for men to take care of their desires first. Not all... some of us get more pleasure from watching a woman squirm from our ministrations and... manipulations(?) during foreplay, than from the act of copulation. Some of us. Other times, women are left hanging. But then again, as I've said before, I ain't a man of the world... I'm probably talking out my ass. I do know that having deep scratches on the back of your neck, or missing clumps of hair, is a sign of doing something right. Just sayin'...

Who determines great sex? Well, I'd have to say that it's the director's call. Positions, camera angles, lighting, mutliple positions in short amounts of time... it's really up to... oh, uh... I guess that's not what was meant by that. Heheheh...

For more intelligent views, go visit the others discussing today's topic: Pammy, of Lollygaggin', Sadie, of Fistful of Fortnights, Kathy, of Cake Eater Chronicles, Silk, of Just Breathe, and Phoenix, of Villains Vanquished post for the Diva's, while the Air Marshall, at Naked Villiany (and soon Jamesyboy and Phin) weighs in for the Gentlemen.

***My apologies... I've forgotten to include Stigmata in the men's corner. Go now.

Posted by That 1 Guy at October 13, 2005 06:43 PM

You're right. I was never a casual sex kinda gal. To me, there has to be a deep emotional connection. That's probably why I am not worldly with a whole lot of data points... it takes a lot for me to emotionally connect with someone.

You aren't the only guy I've heard say this, by the way. Some of my guy friends have told me that they've absolutely had bad sex. It's not just women.

As for women who fake it, I don't get it. Why? If you've chosen to have sex with someone, surely you know them well enough to provide some sort of feedback as to what's right and what would be a little more right. I don't think I know a guy personally that is such a big fat jerk that he would not oblige doing something just a bit different if it makes the sex better.

Posted by: Bou at October 13, 2005 08:29 PM

oh my.....this post surprises me tonight.......

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at October 13, 2005 11:22 PM

What is this "sex" you speak of?

Posted by: raging mom at October 14, 2005 02:11 PM

Excellent post! I agree with you 110%.

Posted by: Christina at October 14, 2005 09:00 PM

"it's almost natural for men to take care of their desires first."

Key word being "almost".

We have a "ladies first" tradition around here :-)

Posted by: Harvey at October 15, 2005 01:01 PM