October 10, 2005


He couldn't stand it any longer... the bawling of the cattle was driving him nuts. "Sleep! All I want is a few hours sleep!" He glanced at the clock, read 2:36, and flung back the covers. Four and a half hours he'd been stuck listening to the bovine choir! And tonight, they were terribly off key. Damn things must be either starving, or there's coyotes out there, he thought to himself. Willing to listen no more, he called Norm, but only got his machine. He left a short message in which he explained that something was up with his cattle. Then he quickly got dressed, grabbed his .44 and a flashlight, and made his way out the door.

The pasture was almost two miles away, if one were to ride the oil. To cut through the woods and field cut it into much less... only a bit over a half mile. He crossed the crick, and headed through the woods, keeping the flashlight swinging from side to side, .44 at hand. He kicked up a large doe, but no coyotes. Seeing the deer, he figured that coyotes weren't the problem.

As he neared the area lit up by the vapor lamp, he could see the small herd looking towards the barn, bellerin'. Just past the barn, he could see Norm's truck. "About time the asshole gets out here to feed his stock," he grumbled aloud. "He's got a piece of my mind to feast on!"

Approaching the barn, careful not to startle Norm and possibly get shot, he noticed the lights glowing, and Norm's dog sitting just inside the door. Behind the dog, he could see a pair of legs. "Norm!" he yelled. Getting no response, he went inside, as the dog slowly wagged it's tail.

It was Norm alright, and he wasn't looking well. Hell, he thought, I'm pretty sure the bastard's dead. Watching the ant walking across his eye, he decided that was a pretty safe bet.

Walking over to the stack of hay bales, he grabbed two in each hand, walked outside, and broke them into the feed bunk. The cattle gratefully swarmed the hay. Going back into the barn, he located what he thought might be the dog's food. Whatever it was, the dog wolfed it down immediately. He checked the outside water tank's level, which was regulated by a float, and then topped off the dog's water bucket.

After everything was done, he walked over to the husk that was Norm. "Well, you worthless son of a whore. You got me to do your chores for ya, and you kept me waiting for sleep while your damn cows bellered. I'll get someone over here for you, but you're going to have to wait like I did. Dead is dead, and I'm dead tired."

He checked on the animals once more before leaving, then made his way back home... back to bed.

Just so you know... this isn't meant to be some literary work of art. I wrote the damn thing in a matter of minutes, after being kept awake by bellering cattle.

It solved nothing, except to make me feel better for a short period of time... the cows are still bawlin'.

Posted by That 1 Guy at October 10, 2005 12:37 AM

Well, you did it and it is. Now tell more.

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at October 10, 2005 07:20 AM

I was all braced for the story to take a Halloweenish turn. Very, very good stuff....

Posted by: Richmond at October 10, 2005 09:09 AM

... he was killed by a werecow, wasn't he...

Posted by: Eric at October 11, 2005 06:46 AM