October 08, 2004

And Then He Voted

As you know, I'm not big into sharing political views. I just had to share this with you. Reminded me of a certain post from Harvey.

About two weeks ago, I run into the bar for lunch before heading to work. Got my food and Coke, and commence to shovelling when in walks a drinking friend of mine. The guy's a hippy, but that's not to be held against him. Yet. He's really a pretty good guy, just not someone I'd spend time with outside of the pub.

He sits down next to me, and we start chatting about the usual intellectually superior topics that always seem to come up. Today, it's voting. Mind you, I refuse to talk serious politics in the bar. Jokes are cool, but you try to debate with me about something like politics while I'm trying to relax and enjoy myself .... let's just say Joe's not happy!

Anyway, it starts out joking. TV over the bar is full of the "Bush failed in this respect," and "Kerry again has changed his stance on ...." bull dookie. I mumble about being sick of all this crap, and can't wait for the election to be over. "Roadkill Bill" says that he agrees. All the mud and accusations that are being tossed around make him sick.

So I start the joking with, "So how do you figure to choose the next President?"
Roadkill: "Not sure, but it would probably have to be decided by something that had nothing to do with the candidates."
Me: (liking where this could go) "So family or friends of the ..."
Roadkill: "Oh, yeah! Have you seen Bush's daughters? They are hot!"
Me: "Pretty hot, and I've heard they like to party!"
(start laughing)
Roadkill: "Of course, Kerry's got some pretty hot daughters, too!"
Me: "Not sure what their names are, but the older one is pretty nice. The other looks like a football player!"
Me: "I guess that wasn't too nice, but Bush definitely wins on the daughter factor!"
Roadkill: "Ok, I'll give you that."
(a few moments go by as we listen to the news. THK is mentioned)
Me: "Ok, you're going to have to give it to Bush on the wife factor, too! Laura doesn't look bad at all, while Ketchup Queen is flat out scary!"
Roadkill: (laughing) "Yeah, I've gotta go with that, too!"
(silence as I'm finishing my lunch)
Roadkill: "Saw something pretty cool the other day. Kerry had a picture taken with John Lennon. How cool is that?!"
Me: (just staring at him, trying to figure out if he's still joking) finally, "I don't know. Never cared for Lennon. Or Kerry for that matter."
Roadkill: "I just think that is cool. He's got my vote. Think of that, you've got a picture with John Lennon."
Me: (incredulous, and hoping he's joking)

Now, I fought back the urge to say something stupid. I wanted to say, "I think I have to vote for Bush because he's got big ears. Reminds me of a monkey, and monkeys make people laugh. How cool is that?" , but I knew this would probably get ugly. Not worth it to me. I just payed my tab, and left.

I don't care who you vote for (actually I do), as long as you know something about both candidates. This stupid "he's not Bush" and "Kerry is in a photo with Lennon" crap is just sad. Have a reason for your decision, a legitimate reason. This grade school voting is idiotic.

Posted by That 1 Guy at October 8, 2004 02:10 AM | TrackBack