December 14, 2004

Yet Another Strange Question, Crap Alert

Very strange evening tonight at work. I kept singing "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner," only to find myself singing "You can't throw me to the lions .... I'm Charlton Heston!" A line from Mate, Spawn, and Die, by Lard. Next I'd be singing "Lonely ships, upon the water, better save the women and children first, sail away with someone's daughter, better save the women and children first." Could This Be Magic, by Van Halen. Strange looks did abound.

My question is going to fit right in, but it's serious. I'll explain in a bit. Anyways, here it is: What is the word or term used to describe literally shitting one's guts out? I know that I know it, but I can't remember it for the life of me. I haven't lived on an actual farm in a long while. I do know that this happened to some of the cattle. I don't know if the term is different for animals than human. If so, I'd like the animal variation.

Here's why. I am on our company's advisory committee. If you have a request, a need, a problem, or whatever, you bring it to one of us on the committee. We take it to the plant manager, discuss it, and then he takes it to the owner/president of the company. The whole thing is anonymous.

I like to ask strange questions. Some are serious, but I love to word them differently than they were asked. Some are just total nonsense, but they've led into serious discussion, while I just sit dumbfounded. For instance, I brought up the fact that the water in the toilets is frequently dirty. (Someone asked me to do this, thinking I wouldn't.) Next thing you know, the committee is discussing how the city water sometimes just appears dirty. They spent five minutes on this stupid question.

Anyway, we've got a problem right now. Rather disgusting, but kinda funny. Well, funny if you don't have to use the throne in the men's bathroom. Someone is blowing them up. I kid you not, it looks like someone took a potato gun, and fired a chunk of feces at the back of the toilet. A rather large loaf. It's all over. Above the waterline. Even on the underside of the seat. Just plain old fashioned butt nasty!

The deal is that there is no way of cleaning this up, unless you feel like dealing with someone else's byproducts. So I've been asked to bring this up. Of course, no one has given me a solution, but I've figured that I'll ask for toilet brushes to be put into each bathroom. That way if someone is sick, or blows the bathroom up, they can take care of their personal mess, rather than wait for the cleaning people to show. I swear that they would need a hammer and chisel to clean out the toilets that have been bombed.

Okay, I've drifted again. My plan is to use the term or word asked for above when explaining the situation. Meeting is at 2:30 CT. I leave for work at 2. If you can help, it would be appreciated. Besides, I want to get a good laugh out of this meeting! Thanks for your input ...

Posted by That 1 Guy at December 14, 2004 03:16 AM | TrackBack