June 03, 2005

Non-pet Owner's Rules

I was sent these by co-worker and chief insulter, Lance. I was the first person he thought of when he saw these, he says.

Rules For Non-Pet Owners Who Visit And Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here - you do not.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me, it's an adopted child who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and is speech-challenged.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to train, usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive my car, don't hang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about the latest fashions, don't wear my clothes (although they've been known to sleep on them from time to time) and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. And, if they get pregnant, I can sell the results.

Wonder why he thought of me? :)

Posted by That 1 Guy at June 3, 2005 06:12 AM | TrackBack